Bonjour fuckers, in today's rant, the brain, yes that organ that crowns the top of your head. some facts about your grey matter that fall under the catergory of often pondered but never asked.
Let's start with the basics, all reality begins and ends within the confines of the 1130 cubic centimetres (cm3) in women and 1260 cm3 in men.
Yes each human is an island, my island is called 'Putain de merde Je t'encule salaud!' It doesn't have many visitors but once you've translated what I've said it's no wonder!
So here I is dropping science or whatever the local vernacular you subscribe to relates in terms of educating.
Now If I was really talking about the whole nut it certainly would be in many parts, but since I likes the quirky here are some facts that I find interesting and amusing:
The brain makes so many calculations a day it's fucking amazing. Ever walked down stairs? I bet you have, why do we walk down stairs in such a fluid motion? We don't have to think about the the relative distance between the bottom of our foot and the relative distance between the next step. It's a subconscious behaviour known as 'best guessing' and our brain is all over that shit like a Scientology on a clueless and well paid celebrity. Your brain knows what you're about to do even before your conscious mind is in on the act. Your brain remembers the relative distance between stairs and goes on autopilot. That's why when you're walking down a mountain in the wilderness you have to plan your steps, your brain hasn't been there before and can't plan the trip for you. If your brain couldn't accomplish auto pilot you'd be the clumsiest Clouseauequse mother fucker ever tripping over the footpath!
You are blind for over an hour a day! 'Fuck off Deucey!' I hear you say. Well yes we are, it equates to over 16 days a year. The reason behind this as follows, the obvious one is blinking. The not so obvious is called Saccadic Masking. Imagine yourself watching teev, your phone rings and you look over. The reason why it happens in a fluid motion and not like the camera work in Blair Witch Project is due to the fact that your brain shuts down the optic nerve to black out the rapid jerky movements your eye makes. Don't believe me, well try this shit out yourself with a friend, look intently into their eyeball long enough and you will see their eyeball jerks in quick movements.
Ever got tense or cried in a movie? Science has an answer to this as well, it's due to 'mirror neurons'. Yes you're watching Babe, the pig rounds up sheep due to his disarming honesty and polite admonitions, but when the farmer says 'that'll do pig' unless YOU'RE HITLER, you may experience a twinge of emotion. Similarly you're watching the protangonist in a zombie flick going down with visuals of tearing flesh and you're cringing. It's all due to mirror neurons. It's quite simple. You know you're watching a movie but deep inside, your brain is completely fooled. Your brain is hard wired to accept visual images as fact. That's why when you cross the road and see a car coming you don't walk in front of it. Yes your brain believes what you're seeing is real! This is why when someone shows you how to cook you learn, or how to dance etc. You learn by looking, it's the same concept.
You're watching Teev and eating at the same time, why don't you take out an eye with a fork? The scientific term is 'proprioception'. This is your brain's ability to work out where your limbs are in relation to your head. It's one of the first things to fail when you're in an advanced state of refeshment. Hence why the yanks do all that sobriety shit instead of just getting you to blow into the breathalyser like every other police force in the world does. Hell, maybe they just get a wheeze out of seeing you walking in a straight line doing your ABC backwards.
Here's one of the strangest brain thingies, it's called 'change blindness' ever watched a magician do card tricks and thought motherfuckingwow!? Yes it's all down to the brain. Those fuckers know how to hack it. The brain as mentioned before is totally preoccupied with all sorts of shit. 'Must keep heart beating, ingesting oxygen, must keep Johnny alive at all costs, must stay upright, what's that shit over there?' Oh yeah that magician fucker is interupting my concentration by showing me some card trick, fuck, what was it he showed me? Oh how the fuck did that happen? The brain has an amazing way of filling in the gaps when it misses the whole story.This is why magicians are assholes. This is why when we see a magic act we fall for the slight of hand every time. Our brain misses the relevant part of the story and does it's best to fill in the gaps.The wierdest part is that the higher functions of the brain are in on the act and come in later as if they were taking a piss while this was going on and say 'yeah that's all smoke and mirrors', yeah thanks higher brain, where we you a couple of secounds ago!
Why do we subject ourselves to the assholes that are in power? Why was George Bush able to go to war against Iraq with his WMD bullshit? Well the Republicans manipulated some intrinsically human traits such as conformity and ridicule. Just because I myself am an asshole I will keep you in suspense and make this a two parter. The next part will touch on the psychology of the brain. This shit is just as interesting, so stayed tuned.
Meanwhile as I always say, end on a song, here's a track about fried chicken in an 8 piece box by Southern Culture on The Skids. The Cramps, "Can your pussy do the dog?" The Creepshow "Zombies Ate Her Brain" and King Khan & the Shrines, "torture". Lastly getting a little low brow and blue, King Khan & the BBQ show, Tastebuds
Let's start with the basics, all reality begins and ends within the confines of the 1130 cubic centimetres (cm3) in women and 1260 cm3 in men.
Yes each human is an island, my island is called 'Putain de merde Je t'encule salaud!' It doesn't have many visitors but once you've translated what I've said it's no wonder!
So here I is dropping science or whatever the local vernacular you subscribe to relates in terms of educating.
Now If I was really talking about the whole nut it certainly would be in many parts, but since I likes the quirky here are some facts that I find interesting and amusing:
The brain makes so many calculations a day it's fucking amazing. Ever walked down stairs? I bet you have, why do we walk down stairs in such a fluid motion? We don't have to think about the the relative distance between the bottom of our foot and the relative distance between the next step. It's a subconscious behaviour known as 'best guessing' and our brain is all over that shit like a Scientology on a clueless and well paid celebrity. Your brain knows what you're about to do even before your conscious mind is in on the act. Your brain remembers the relative distance between stairs and goes on autopilot. That's why when you're walking down a mountain in the wilderness you have to plan your steps, your brain hasn't been there before and can't plan the trip for you. If your brain couldn't accomplish auto pilot you'd be the clumsiest Clouseauequse mother fucker ever tripping over the footpath!
You are blind for over an hour a day! 'Fuck off Deucey!' I hear you say. Well yes we are, it equates to over 16 days a year. The reason behind this as follows, the obvious one is blinking. The not so obvious is called Saccadic Masking. Imagine yourself watching teev, your phone rings and you look over. The reason why it happens in a fluid motion and not like the camera work in Blair Witch Project is due to the fact that your brain shuts down the optic nerve to black out the rapid jerky movements your eye makes. Don't believe me, well try this shit out yourself with a friend, look intently into their eyeball long enough and you will see their eyeball jerks in quick movements.
Ever got tense or cried in a movie? Science has an answer to this as well, it's due to 'mirror neurons'. Yes you're watching Babe, the pig rounds up sheep due to his disarming honesty and polite admonitions, but when the farmer says 'that'll do pig' unless YOU'RE HITLER, you may experience a twinge of emotion. Similarly you're watching the protangonist in a zombie flick going down with visuals of tearing flesh and you're cringing. It's all due to mirror neurons. It's quite simple. You know you're watching a movie but deep inside, your brain is completely fooled. Your brain is hard wired to accept visual images as fact. That's why when you cross the road and see a car coming you don't walk in front of it. Yes your brain believes what you're seeing is real! This is why when someone shows you how to cook you learn, or how to dance etc. You learn by looking, it's the same concept.
You're watching Teev and eating at the same time, why don't you take out an eye with a fork? The scientific term is 'proprioception'. This is your brain's ability to work out where your limbs are in relation to your head. It's one of the first things to fail when you're in an advanced state of refeshment. Hence why the yanks do all that sobriety shit instead of just getting you to blow into the breathalyser like every other police force in the world does. Hell, maybe they just get a wheeze out of seeing you walking in a straight line doing your ABC backwards.
Here's one of the strangest brain thingies, it's called 'change blindness' ever watched a magician do card tricks and thought motherfuckingwow!? Yes it's all down to the brain. Those fuckers know how to hack it. The brain as mentioned before is totally preoccupied with all sorts of shit. 'Must keep heart beating, ingesting oxygen, must keep Johnny alive at all costs, must stay upright, what's that shit over there?' Oh yeah that magician fucker is interupting my concentration by showing me some card trick, fuck, what was it he showed me? Oh how the fuck did that happen? The brain has an amazing way of filling in the gaps when it misses the whole story.This is why magicians are assholes. This is why when we see a magic act we fall for the slight of hand every time. Our brain misses the relevant part of the story and does it's best to fill in the gaps.The wierdest part is that the higher functions of the brain are in on the act and come in later as if they were taking a piss while this was going on and say 'yeah that's all smoke and mirrors', yeah thanks higher brain, where we you a couple of secounds ago!
Why do we subject ourselves to the assholes that are in power? Why was George Bush able to go to war against Iraq with his WMD bullshit? Well the Republicans manipulated some intrinsically human traits such as conformity and ridicule. Just because I myself am an asshole I will keep you in suspense and make this a two parter. The next part will touch on the psychology of the brain. This shit is just as interesting, so stayed tuned.
Meanwhile as I always say, end on a song, here's a track about fried chicken in an 8 piece box by Southern Culture on The Skids. The Cramps, "Can your pussy do the dog?" The Creepshow "Zombies Ate Her Brain" and King Khan & the Shrines, "torture". Lastly getting a little low brow and blue, King Khan & the BBQ show, Tastebuds
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
romany:
Thank you for enlightening me on the functions of the brain, pretty interesting stuff! I love learning about how the brain does it's thang. Also I'm a fan of Creepshow, so kudos on that XD
wolfwood1203:
Yeah, something going on with the radiator, it's pissing me off. As for the professor, it's safer just to figure him out and learn what answers he's looking for. When I figure out how he thinks it'll be easier to get through class.