Hiya Gang.
So I've done an awful job this year keeping my blog updated. I was honestly thinking about just quitting on it, but then I got a lovely message from BetteJean which said, roughly "Where have you been? You need to blog more." And so, chocking up one more reason on the already lengthy list of reasons why BetteJean is so very dear to me, I have a renewed drive to keep going. I've decided to try to make a point of posting at least every other day, even if I have nothing groundbreaking to share. I'm already doing nicely keeping the ol' Facebook for myself and my store updated, so that should help snowball the efforts here.
I have something rather personal to share today though. A woman with whom I've recently grown to know and share the odd romantic interlude recently told me that she loved me. I don't know her well enough to claim that I loved her too, and so I thanked her for the sentiment, and assured her I thought fondly of her, but telling someone you love them is a rather heavy weight, especially if you aren't sticking around (she told me she was planning to move to a commune in Oregon with her son and baby daddy just a few days before this). I told her that I didn't really know how to respond to this.
And that's when she told me that she just wanted me to know before it was too late to say. 'Cause, you see, as she told me next, she's dying of a rather aggressive esophageal cancer, and the doctors told her that even with chemo therapy, she had a few months left, at best.
And so then I felt like an asshole. And after ruminating on it, I feel even worse that I didn't feel worse for her then- I've only known her for about 4 months, but I still felt like I should have had a bigger response to her professing she loved me and telling me she was dying, in practically the same breath.
Now I'm just in a bit of daze. She followed through with her plans to go to Oregon, which I am happy for: she's a great mom, an amazing woman, and she deserves the opportunity to live out the rest of her short days in the manner she chooses.
Altogether though, it was a very bitter pill to swallow, and it weighs heavily on my mind, thinking about what I should have done and said.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share this with you. I'll be back Wednesday with a post about comic books.
Take care my lovelies; if you don't, nobody else will.
So I've done an awful job this year keeping my blog updated. I was honestly thinking about just quitting on it, but then I got a lovely message from BetteJean which said, roughly "Where have you been? You need to blog more." And so, chocking up one more reason on the already lengthy list of reasons why BetteJean is so very dear to me, I have a renewed drive to keep going. I've decided to try to make a point of posting at least every other day, even if I have nothing groundbreaking to share. I'm already doing nicely keeping the ol' Facebook for myself and my store updated, so that should help snowball the efforts here.
I have something rather personal to share today though. A woman with whom I've recently grown to know and share the odd romantic interlude recently told me that she loved me. I don't know her well enough to claim that I loved her too, and so I thanked her for the sentiment, and assured her I thought fondly of her, but telling someone you love them is a rather heavy weight, especially if you aren't sticking around (she told me she was planning to move to a commune in Oregon with her son and baby daddy just a few days before this). I told her that I didn't really know how to respond to this.
And that's when she told me that she just wanted me to know before it was too late to say. 'Cause, you see, as she told me next, she's dying of a rather aggressive esophageal cancer, and the doctors told her that even with chemo therapy, she had a few months left, at best.
And so then I felt like an asshole. And after ruminating on it, I feel even worse that I didn't feel worse for her then- I've only known her for about 4 months, but I still felt like I should have had a bigger response to her professing she loved me and telling me she was dying, in practically the same breath.
Now I'm just in a bit of daze. She followed through with her plans to go to Oregon, which I am happy for: she's a great mom, an amazing woman, and she deserves the opportunity to live out the rest of her short days in the manner she chooses.
Altogether though, it was a very bitter pill to swallow, and it weighs heavily on my mind, thinking about what I should have done and said.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share this with you. I'll be back Wednesday with a post about comic books.
Take care my lovelies; if you don't, nobody else will.
Keep posting, it gets easier every time.