destro

last night was a rough night. i forced myself to go out with the old crew. i drove over to nate and jamie's house, and rode wit them up to the bar. the old crowd was still there, right where i left them so long ago. we drank beers, drank shots, had all the same conversations that we had before, threw darts, watched people start fights..... then me a nate walked back to is house, i passed out on the couch. i was supposed to get a chance to talk someone last night, i had been looking forward to it for a few days. but he wasn't there, i had to act the whole night like i was the guy everybody else had always knew. but it was all just an act. i wanted to talk. i wanted to cry, i wanted for someone to just understand me..... that isn't here for me anymore.

i ended up wasted. not knowing what i was doing. i sent soem text messages. some i really thoughtfully meant, others i sent with a jaded heart. i appologise for all of them, they all probably caused some type of pain.

all i know is i can't go back to where that other guy used to be, it's not me anymore