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desireenicole

Member Since 2009

Followers 1128 Following 670

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Tuesday Aug 24, 2010

Aug 23, 2010
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Sooo... I'm kinda bummed. I live with my sister, her fiance and their daughter. And I love it because I see my neice everyday! I love having my own room, and bathroom and being able to say that this is MY home. BUT... I don't feel like I'm wanted here. Or that they care that I am here. Like, I'm just someone renting a room, paying 1/3 of rent, pge and food. I never get to watch MY tv in my own living room on MY couch, because brother-in-law always changes it when I am watching something. So I gave up and I only watch movies on my tv in my room(I say movies cause I don't have cable in here). And there is ALWAYS a mess in the living room and the kitchen, so I rarely go in either one. I cannot stand when people don't clean up after themselves. Especially when it comes to dishes.
We don't have too much food here, nothing I like anyway. They go grocery shopping without me and don't bother getting anything I like. And the past 5 times they have gone to McDonalds or Buger King or Jack in the Box, they haven't asked if I wanted anything. It really doesn't seem like they care. Which is fucked up, because when I get food for myself, I make sure I get enough for everyone else.
I hope I'm not overreacting. And I don't like complaining, but I guess I'm just a little butthurt that they aren't as considerate and I'd hope they'd be lol. I don't like to confront people either. I don't like to fight or argue. And I know my sister, she will turn it into a fight. She is the exact opposite of me. No joke.
I don't exactly feel like this is my home. It's like I'm staying at a hotel. I'm paying $400+ a month just for this room. Like I'm a guest. Except there's no housekeeping lol. Is that weird??

And on top of that, the owner for my store wants me to be his little spy. He wants me to "keep an eye on the store" for him. Like that's my job. That's what the stupid manager should be doing. Okay, there was a guy who worked there since the place opened, but was fired early this year because he took home 2 extra large pizzas that he didn't pay for and the owner caught him. So he told my boss, the manager, to fire him. She did. Now, about 2 weeks ago, the same thing happene with 2 girls that I work with, who are sisters and my good friends. They gave their friends a few extra large pizzas for the price of one personal sized pizza. The owner caught them and told my boss to fire them. BUT she didn't. Why? Because one of those girls is dating my boss' son. Those 2 girls are her favorites. They NEVER get in trouble. WAY fucked up! So I guess the owner is mad about that and now wants me to let him know of anything wrong going on in the store. BUT that's NOT my job! I was hired to wash dishes!!! And now I'm a cashier, pizza maker and I still have to clean tables and wash dishes AND I open AND close the store(on different days of course) and now I am being asked to keep an eye on the store and my co-workers? No. I'm NOT a supervisor. We don't even have a supervisor. I'll supervise, but only if I get a raise. Which I doubt will ever happen. Besides, I'm not a snitch. And I do not want to be caught up in any bullshit. I don't do drama.

On top of all that I am realizing that I don't have any true friends here. True friends are supposed to be reliable, trustworthy and always have your back. And they sure as hell don't talk shit about you when you're not around. I have none. My "friends" always flake out on me when I make plans, and don't invite me to anything.

On top of that crap, my great grandma is very sick. She's had tests being taken because of something to do with her bone marrow. She's getting the results today. My familia went to see her in Hesperia this passed weekend. I didn't get to go because of work. I would so drive myslef all the way down ther eto see her. I miss her. She's lost 30 pounds in the last few months. No bueno. I really want to see her!!! It's scary thinking about... you know...

And on top of all THAT... I miss my man. I miss him so much that it's extremely hard for me to handle sometimes. I swear whenever our song comes on I want to cry. Whenever I watch certain movies.. ugh! I get so sad. I so cannotwait for our happily ever after lol Corny, I know. but I'm so serious. Sooo don't make fun of me please biggrin

Oh, and lisen to this song, it's beautiful. Gets me everytime I hear it.

Evanescence - "You"
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
pucker:
omg the people out here are like that too!!! the one chick that became my one good, true friend is in oklahoma right now cuz her hubby is stationed there. She will be moving to el paso, which is 5 hours away which is MUCH MUCH closer than oklahoma! So when i visit the fam back in Tx we can stay at their place and visit (yay for not only not having to pay for a room, but getting to see my best friend and my godson!)

But the people out here suck BIGGGGGGGGG time. they can even make the plans, and make up some DUMBBBBB as excuse as to why. its like i dont wanna hear it cuz i know its all bullshit. the people out here are lazy and boring and never wanna do anything!

But back in tx i have TONSSSSSS of friends. i miss having lots of friends around =/ Its also annoying how alot of guys out here dont respect if you are married, when if i were in texas its mainly understood that you will pretty much get your ass beat if you are trying to get with someones woman (dating or married)

Sry about ur gma yo. i know how bad that sucks. My grandma just got over cancer and was doing chemo and radiation. She was starting to lose her hair and she was very tired. I just hope its gone for good. All kinds of cancers run on her side of the fam (which happens to be my moms side, and im my moms 1st and my body mostly resembles my mother) so kinda scary.

And i know how hard it is to have a long distance relationship... =/ back when hubbers and i were just dating we were apart for 6 months. he was here in az, i was left in texas. I was only supposed to visit but i moved out here bc i couldnt stand to be away from him. yeah it sucks so bad out here right now and we hate it, but at least we have eachother.

Im typically at home for 12 hours a day mon-thurs, fri its about 9-10 hours by myself. sucks. mon and fri i baby sit tho so it gives me something to do and i bring home a little bacon!

ps: your friggin smokin! i took a look-see at your pictures smile
Sep 15, 2010
keilyn:
Im sorry mama that u are dealing with so much!!! Hopefully things start taking a turn for the better!!! and I totally agree with pucker, you are fucking hot!!! <3 <3
Sep 19, 2010

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