desireenicole

Some old notes, poems and feelings...

I feel like our Forever is fading and it wont stop until there's nothing left. How long will it take for our mistakes to truly fade, and not once think that our Forever is falling? I'd like to stroll right through just one moment without doubting this embrace, because now I'm thinking our Forever is dying.

Has it croseed ur mind, just a thought of me? Have I somehow lead you to believe that I don't need you?
Have I said the wrong words or relayed the wrong actions? Or am I just not giving you the satisfaction of controlling me? That's what it is, that's what you need. A weak, hopeless romantic on which to feed.
Oh what I would do to stay the night with you. What I would say to have you come my way, for just one kiss... And I thought I meant the world to you. How foolish of me.

I feel like you will never understand me. And when I shed a tear, you laugh right in my face. You say, hunny don't cry, I'll be right my your side. Just give up your life and your freedoms. It's not me it's you. Get that through. I simply hate the you inside.

I decay, and still you walk on by. It means nothing to you. I want to believe I'm worth a little more than a touch and a feel and a push to the ground. I want to be held like I'm truly wanted and needed. But instead I get pushed around. Did I do somthing wrong in life, to deserve such rejection? Did I displease all, and in return, lose genuine affection?

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Those were written during my sad days lol but these are new =) the first one I literally JUST wrote!

I thought I knew the feeling of being in love. It happened a few times before. They all felt the same to me, It was a mind trick, nothing more. At the time it seemed I'd never find another who cared as much. When really they didn't care at all, only wanted to kiss and touch. Then you came along, caring from the start wanting nothing more than my heart. It's always been yours, from day one, for you are the only who fuels my smile to grow as radiant as the sun. Don't get me started on the butterflies in my tummy. And oh how I love when you call me hunny. Love is a word. Love is a feeling. Up until recently I never knew the meaning... It's you.

Falling in love with you was easy. The Challenge was letting all the built up words spill out of my mouth.
Thinking of somthing to say to you was nothing. But letting them escape my lips was terrifying.

(Gotta finish the second one later)

But yea, I wanted to get those out of my system and out of my head. Old feelings, bad memories. I want to make new memories with someone I care so much about. I'm so stoked that I'm finally being loved like I know I deserve. And that I'm being treated like an equal partner, not a sidekick. My dreams, goals and desires are being genuinly supported. I can do what I want, hang out with my friends, drink and smoke if I wanted to. I can be ME! I can be Dez, and not feel guilty for wanting what I do. I am in love, truly and deeply. I want to shout it to the world. All I think about is him. I'm in love. So much in love.