I need help.
Some of you know about my panic attacks. Well another one, surfaced this morning. I was half way to work on Route 50 and it hit me. I wasn't doing anything, just listening to the radio. Now I have called into work and asked to come in around noon.
Well what if this gets worse? What if it happens every morning or during lunch or on my way home in the evening?
Let me explain to those of you who don't suffer from this, maybe just so that you can have some idea of how it feels or maybe so I don't have to hear "its all in your head"...
First, you could be in the movies, at dinner, sleeping, in a meeting, driving, shopping, anywhere. Panic attacks don't stop just because you may or may not be in public.
So lets start with the physical feelings...
Your hands begin to tingle and slowly begin to tighten. Each finger curls into your hand forming fists, but curl in further to have each fingernail cut deeply into your palms. Your wrists force your hands to turn in and feel as if every bone in your arm is cracking and breaking. Your chest begins to tighten as if your ribs are in a vice and you can't breathe. No matter how hard you try, you can't catch a breath. Your knees tighten and when you try to stand, you feel like your legs are tearing away from the rest of you. Here's the best part. The muscles in your eyes clench shut and you can't open them. Your cheeks cave in and your lips purse so that you can open your mouth to the size of a straw.
Now mentally, there's only one way to describe this. Death. Literally. You feel like your dying, but in its own way, its a slow torture because you don't die.
Ok, here's my problem. When I go to the doctor, his first and only reaction, "Lets put you on this" and he hands me a prescription. I don't want to live my life on meds. I don't want my happiness based on a prescription. And I'm on waiting lists with psychologists/psychiatrists, until who knows when.
Even my prayers don't seem to get me anywhere. The more I pray to my Goddesses and Gods, the less it seems to help. The thought of them abandoning me is an even worse thought.
Can anyone help me?
Some of you know about my panic attacks. Well another one, surfaced this morning. I was half way to work on Route 50 and it hit me. I wasn't doing anything, just listening to the radio. Now I have called into work and asked to come in around noon.
Well what if this gets worse? What if it happens every morning or during lunch or on my way home in the evening?
Let me explain to those of you who don't suffer from this, maybe just so that you can have some idea of how it feels or maybe so I don't have to hear "its all in your head"...
First, you could be in the movies, at dinner, sleeping, in a meeting, driving, shopping, anywhere. Panic attacks don't stop just because you may or may not be in public.
So lets start with the physical feelings...
Your hands begin to tingle and slowly begin to tighten. Each finger curls into your hand forming fists, but curl in further to have each fingernail cut deeply into your palms. Your wrists force your hands to turn in and feel as if every bone in your arm is cracking and breaking. Your chest begins to tighten as if your ribs are in a vice and you can't breathe. No matter how hard you try, you can't catch a breath. Your knees tighten and when you try to stand, you feel like your legs are tearing away from the rest of you. Here's the best part. The muscles in your eyes clench shut and you can't open them. Your cheeks cave in and your lips purse so that you can open your mouth to the size of a straw.
Now mentally, there's only one way to describe this. Death. Literally. You feel like your dying, but in its own way, its a slow torture because you don't die.
Ok, here's my problem. When I go to the doctor, his first and only reaction, "Lets put you on this" and he hands me a prescription. I don't want to live my life on meds. I don't want my happiness based on a prescription. And I'm on waiting lists with psychologists/psychiatrists, until who knows when.
Even my prayers don't seem to get me anywhere. The more I pray to my Goddesses and Gods, the less it seems to help. The thought of them abandoning me is an even worse thought.
Can anyone help me?