desided

No more pregnancy. Which is not a bad thing she may have never been pregnant in the first place or there is the chance she is still pregnant? ah well.

I had the chance to go to a house party today, lots of younger girls some people I knew and a cousin which I really owe a present. Good way to spend valentines day.

I didn't go because I don't have fun. Last year I had a go at everything. Went out when i didn't really want to. Found myself in some weird places but kept pushing myself further out of my comfort zone. I'm tired of glossy first impressions and the little social lies, acting interested. Acting tired when your bored. I'm negative because of my own expectations and for sacrificing little chunks of hope to the people I meet, It gets harder to take chances when you've had a long run of bad luck.

I watched the curious case of Benjamin button yesterday, good film. Left me feeling that I should be filing my life with culture, art, music the proper things it seems now abnormal to love. This year (aside from Glastonbury) I think I'm going to just venture out on my own more. Stop hating what I have become and make some use out of it. Learn a skill or something that i can dedicate myself to.

23 and I feel 83, I think you have a better go at life if you don't listen to your elders.