derby

"mud. muddy slush. slushy lawn. in the inbetween of the winter and spring and the lawn's long gone. people walking. lotsa people walking over the life in the mud on the sidewalk under my crawl. mud bubbles pop and burst breath into the air. where's the inbetween if everyone's a me. (that there tree grew outta me.) people talking. lotsa peopel talking. i'm hurt. you're hurt. my dad's hurt and haven't you learned everyone's hurt. sure we're all smiles seeing reptiles. birds in bars. we measure up each species in our heads. barely aware that we're so scared we measure up each species in our heads. i can step on that li'l fucker's jaw. i can snap him in half like a wishbone. and i think to myself (like i'm always thinking) i want everything and two of some of this shit. find my place in the apehouse. see myself in their eyes. my fingers on their feet. my possessive love somewhere in their embrace. my freedom's limitations in their swinging and hollering. i'm singing. i'm hollering. i'm singing. i'm hollering. i'm always bothering."



That About sums it all up



I feel so empty. SO FUCKING EMPTY. i remember a time and place when i was happy. I lived in colorado for a year, and was so happy there. the blue skys, the amazing mountains. just going up to a mountain trail and smoking weed. no worries no cares

i have decided what i want in a guy

i want a guy who will read a book with me before bed. my lay my head in his lap and he reads it out loud to me. who will play acoustic guitar, and learn my favorite songs

one who will be an asshole, but an asshole like i am. who will go to the beach with me, build a bon fire, and eat marshmellows and watch the sun rise.

one that will cuddle up on the couch, and laugh at horror movies with me

one who will go on adventures. If we want to go see a waterfall, we drive to the nearest one, out of state or just out of town.

one who will love zombie.

one who appriciates good vinyl as much as i do. put on a good album, and go to the fucking moon with me





SADLY one like that, isnt real. because im always miserable. i have high standards. im ridiculous






dude seriously?



-D