Go...Look... It's Ryan as a faerie....!!!
http://www.eva.surf.org.uk/demonsynn/ryan!.jpg
I've been continously doing nothing but work to save up money...I think I may have to get my first oh I dunno six or seven checks over. It's alright though......soon, I will be working Ikea making the big money and being able to buy kick ass furniture. I think this time next year, I will have saved enuff...
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http://www.eva.surf.org.uk/demonsynn/ryan!.jpg
I've been continously doing nothing but work to save up money...I think I may have to get my first oh I dunno six or seven checks over. It's alright though......soon, I will be working Ikea making the big money and being able to buy kick ass furniture. I think this time next year, I will have saved enuff...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Theres been a couple of time I've started to write a new entry but, it always fizzled out...ended up feeling like shit.
click click click delete
I've made such attempts to straighten things that are negative in my life into something maybe a little positive but it's become more and more difficult to accomplish that.
I left my job that was going pretty well last...
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click click click delete
I've made such attempts to straighten things that are negative in my life into something maybe a little positive but it's become more and more difficult to accomplish that.
I left my job that was going pretty well last...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
acidstar726:
it was not by any means what i expected to hear from you...not at all.....
with all the hateful words..actions..lies...shit...all the hell that you desperately tried to put me through...the 4 page hate mail ...the ripping open of wounds you had no right to fucking touch on me.. the honesty and trust..the love you twisted into abosolute hate and resentment..you royally fucked me...(and i can say that without hestation)...and you wanted to watch while i burned in the fire you created for me...
but you knew..you knew i would rise out of it..i dont know how you couldnt know because you know the deepest parts of me..everything ive been through that you PROMISED you would never do to me..but you lied...and I DID MAKE IT THROUGH....
but your confusion and your words of sorrow i can relate to...but you know you created it for yourself...and im sorry for the pain you endure...but i told you ..(not tauntingly but warningly) "what goes around comes around" ....and ryan...i want to feel for you and i dont think i can help but care...because i DID care...more than youll ever know...but you fucked me so bad...and i can remember clearly the last words that i spoke to your face as i was leaving kevins house was "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND I HOPE I SEE YOU REALLY SOON".......i thought you were my best friend and that youd be there forever...but i was wrong and you tried to turn an already difficult situation for me going to college..into one that would be unbearable...all the lies...all behind my back...all because of what??what did you get out of making me cry and hurt???what was so great that you had to throw away the best friend you ever fucking had???..and thats what you did...and as much as i want to be there for you...i will never forget the apathy in your words of hate towards me and to everyone i cared about when all i wanted was to know that you cared...and ryan what you did to tiffany..well i have absolutely no sympathy for you.....not in the slightest...yea..we all fuck up...but damn....you know better...and i dont even know what to say about that....
i wont say that i dont miss you because i do...but i know that i miss and care about the person you WERE...and i will always love that person...but not the person you turned into...and YOU burnt those bridges...i wish things did not happen the way they did also....i never wanted anything you threw my way after i left for college..but shit...i dont know ..what the fuck happened to you ryan?????
with all the hateful words..actions..lies...shit...all the hell that you desperately tried to put me through...the 4 page hate mail ...the ripping open of wounds you had no right to fucking touch on me.. the honesty and trust..the love you twisted into abosolute hate and resentment..you royally fucked me...(and i can say that without hestation)...and you wanted to watch while i burned in the fire you created for me...
but you knew..you knew i would rise out of it..i dont know how you couldnt know because you know the deepest parts of me..everything ive been through that you PROMISED you would never do to me..but you lied...and I DID MAKE IT THROUGH....
but your confusion and your words of sorrow i can relate to...but you know you created it for yourself...and im sorry for the pain you endure...but i told you ..(not tauntingly but warningly) "what goes around comes around" ....and ryan...i want to feel for you and i dont think i can help but care...because i DID care...more than youll ever know...but you fucked me so bad...and i can remember clearly the last words that i spoke to your face as i was leaving kevins house was "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND I HOPE I SEE YOU REALLY SOON".......i thought you were my best friend and that youd be there forever...but i was wrong and you tried to turn an already difficult situation for me going to college..into one that would be unbearable...all the lies...all behind my back...all because of what??what did you get out of making me cry and hurt???what was so great that you had to throw away the best friend you ever fucking had???..and thats what you did...and as much as i want to be there for you...i will never forget the apathy in your words of hate towards me and to everyone i cared about when all i wanted was to know that you cared...and ryan what you did to tiffany..well i have absolutely no sympathy for you.....not in the slightest...yea..we all fuck up...but damn....you know better...and i dont even know what to say about that....
i wont say that i dont miss you because i do...but i know that i miss and care about the person you WERE...and i will always love that person...but not the person you turned into...and YOU burnt those bridges...i wish things did not happen the way they did also....i never wanted anything you threw my way after i left for college..but shit...i dont know ..what the fuck happened to you ryan?????
opahl:
Hang in there, hon!
I don't want to play this anymore. I wrote one email so things would become clear to you that I merely was TOLD of all the things that had been happening.....And you never even told me if they were true or not. You wrote back with total cutdowns and stabs.....I didn't even expect one back let alone one that said things like "bring it on,...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
ultraman:
egos of jilted/ex lovers are very fragile...thus, opening up old wounds only rubs salt in them. or makes them remember the lies they perpetuated.
i guess you got your answer huh?
peace
i guess you got your answer huh?
peace
I got my nipples pierced a couple of nights ago...Twas fun indeed...I could of gone without the snow storm but it just added effect to the whole thing.
The month of Febuary is going to be the scariest shit ever....There's alot going down, in every single fucking aspect. My world, the world itself.
Give out some good energy for my friend, Tiffany. She's still in...
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The month of Febuary is going to be the scariest shit ever....There's alot going down, in every single fucking aspect. My world, the world itself.
Give out some good energy for my friend, Tiffany. She's still in...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
gwendolyn:
You're gorgeous.
You look a bit like me, but only on my best days.
You look a bit like me, but only on my best days.
xigorx:
you live near me and you are hot
we should make out...
oh wait, nevermind...
we should make out...
oh wait, nevermind...
Happy New Years everyone.........
Hope you have a wonderful evening...pahty like it's 1999...not too hard though, it's not so much fun to
!!!!
Hope you have a wonderful evening...pahty like it's 1999...not too hard though, it's not so much fun to
!!!!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
acidstar726:
hey i miss you where are you come up and see me or call3048764436
amorette:
wowzas yer foxy
Genitortures; one of the coolest bands in thee world.
Helllllo
Decided I would update cos my last entry was rather pessimistic & (I'm sure) discouraging...!
Xmas went alright. Spent time w/ my parents, brother & his son...Who is an adorable brat.
Gave out really good christmas gifts that I could actually somewhat afford this year & in return I got some stuff I needed. Everyone...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
demonsynn:
I didn't know they had a DVD, that's really fuckin super. I saw them live around Dec01....It was one of the coolest shows I've been to...Gen puts on a great performance w/ so much energy!
I need to go get some cassette tapes...I went to College Park & Georgetown last night w/ my friend Lonna (she's also signed up at this site...)
Despite the fact I spent a shitload of money, I got a lot of really neat stuff. Besides the $16 dollar Benefit's Badgirl black eyeliner pencil, I'm going to take it back & get my money...I could use...
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Despite the fact I spent a shitload of money, I got a lot of really neat stuff. Besides the $16 dollar Benefit's Badgirl black eyeliner pencil, I'm going to take it back & get my money...I could use...
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