demoniacsmile

Maybe one reason why I like to make new journals all the time is because I want to erase all the posts I made in the past...because I don't like associating past feelings with the ones I have now, or the ones I have no with what things might be like in the future. Because looking over the livejournal I have now, it seems like I cared a lot about stuff, when right now I really don't care about anything at all. But I'm sure one day I'll care about things again, and then not, again.

My therapist said that people fall in love with people who are everything they want to be. It makes sense...you want to be with someone who's qualities you really love, but if you think about it, all those qualities are things you wish you had, and you want to be with them as a constant reminder that they are everything you want. In essence, it's not them you really want, but it's you that you want - a you that you wish you could be. And if you're really happy and you like the way you are and you couldn't imagine anything you would rather be - then it must be that you could never love someone else.

When I read her thoughts it makes me wish I could be the one she wants, she always says how bad things are, but how perfect they are when she's with the people she loves. Maybe I'm sad that I'm not one of the people she loves...I don't know. And I shouldn't care.

Today's Quote:

"There will come a point when you no longer have interest in talking to me, it'll be something I did, or didn't do - or who I am, or who I am not. And I'll feel as if I'd wasted my time, and you might feel the same. It's how most of these things turn out for me."
-Me, to a girl