Kristy Anne Townsend
July 7th, 1985 - July 22nd, 2005
One year ago today, at about this time, I got a call. I had just arrived at the home of my boyfriend at the time, Aegies. The call was from my brother. All he could choke out was, "It's Kristy. She's dead."
It seems to me that something earthshattering should have happened today. Some amazing truth should have become apparent to me that would enable me to live my life in a better way. But it was just a regular day, full of work, fun, good food, good company, and new possibilities. Honestly, that's the sort of thing Kristy loved, and she wouldn't want me to live any other way. My mom is still trapped in her grief, unable to escape. She blames herself, I know she does. She can't let go. My sister being both physically and mentally disabled was difficult to deal with. I know my mom feels like she didn't treat her well enough. And she's right- she didn't.
If there is really anything I learned from my sister's death it was to live my life without regrets, because second chances are rare. I will live and love as I see fit. I will work as hard as I can doing something I love to do, even if it doesn't pay well. I can be broke, and still be happy, becuase I'll still be living my life the way I want to. At the end of my days, I don't want to look back and think "What if I'd only done this differently?"
At the end of days, at the end of time
When the Sun burns out will any of this matter?
Who will be there to remember who we were?
Who will be there to know that any of this had meaning for us?
And in retrospect I'll say we've done no wrong
Who are we to judge what's right
And what has purpose for us?
With designs upon ourselves to do no wrong
Running wild unaware of what might come of us
The Sun was born, so it shall die
So only shadows comfort me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Each day shall end as it begins
And though you're far away from me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Without a thought I will see everything eternal
Forget that once we were just dust from heavens far
As we were forged we shall return, perhaps some day
I will remember you and wonder who we were
The Sun was born, so it shall die
So only shadows comfort me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Each day shall end as it begins
And though you're far away from me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Further - VNV Nation
July 7th, 1985 - July 22nd, 2005
One year ago today, at about this time, I got a call. I had just arrived at the home of my boyfriend at the time, Aegies. The call was from my brother. All he could choke out was, "It's Kristy. She's dead."
It seems to me that something earthshattering should have happened today. Some amazing truth should have become apparent to me that would enable me to live my life in a better way. But it was just a regular day, full of work, fun, good food, good company, and new possibilities. Honestly, that's the sort of thing Kristy loved, and she wouldn't want me to live any other way. My mom is still trapped in her grief, unable to escape. She blames herself, I know she does. She can't let go. My sister being both physically and mentally disabled was difficult to deal with. I know my mom feels like she didn't treat her well enough. And she's right- she didn't.
If there is really anything I learned from my sister's death it was to live my life without regrets, because second chances are rare. I will live and love as I see fit. I will work as hard as I can doing something I love to do, even if it doesn't pay well. I can be broke, and still be happy, becuase I'll still be living my life the way I want to. At the end of my days, I don't want to look back and think "What if I'd only done this differently?"
At the end of days, at the end of time
When the Sun burns out will any of this matter?
Who will be there to remember who we were?
Who will be there to know that any of this had meaning for us?
And in retrospect I'll say we've done no wrong
Who are we to judge what's right
And what has purpose for us?
With designs upon ourselves to do no wrong
Running wild unaware of what might come of us
The Sun was born, so it shall die
So only shadows comfort me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Each day shall end as it begins
And though you're far away from me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Without a thought I will see everything eternal
Forget that once we were just dust from heavens far
As we were forged we shall return, perhaps some day
I will remember you and wonder who we were
The Sun was born, so it shall die
So only shadows comfort me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Each day shall end as it begins
And though you're far away from me
I know in darkness I will find you
Giving up inside like me
Further - VNV Nation
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Your posts are beautiful is truthful.