demonesskage

I have been unbearably restless these past couple of days. I feel like there is something important that I should be doing, and I can't quite remember what it is.

Well, that's not actually quite true. I know exactly what I should be doing, and I'm not doing it. That's why I'm restless. It's also making me moody. I think I'm tired of not being in control of my life, of not taking responsibilty for the things that I could change, and didn't. I'm where I am now through my own bad decisions, and the only person who can fix that is me.

Aegies once told me that he thought I looked to him for rescueing, and I'm pretty sure he was right. Then he broke up with me. That's some pretty fucking tough love, but I'm thankful for it now.

Something I can change right this second: I am going to clean my fucking room, and possibly my apartment. Yep, you heard that right. Those who know me well will realize that one of three things has happened. 1) I've been kidnapped by aliens, and this is my clone speaking, please leave a message at the tone, 2)The World as we know it is ending. Right Now. I'm pretty sure this was foretold in the book of Revelations, although I can't remember which chapter. And finally 3) which is the most likely, and yet if I was to speak those dreaded words here, I'd have to kill all of you.

I also need to get off my ass and get a second job. Not just look, FIND A FUCKING SECOND JOB. At this point I'm thinking resturant or porn store. There's a restruant I'm going to check today before I go to work, and I'm really going to fucking drive over there this time. I expect everyone to ask if I went over there, if I got an application, and if I've turned it back in. I expected everyone to guilt trip me mercilessly if I don't. Thanks in advance for that.

There are five of you that without which I would fall apart completely. And you KNOW who you are. I love all of you, so very much.