demonesskage

Eyes betray the soul and bear it's thinking.
Beyond words they say so many things to me.
A stranger here reborn it seems
awaking wonders deep in me.
If nothing's ventured nothing's gained
so I must seize the day.

And fighting time so hard I pray
that this moment lasts forever.
And will the world stay standing still at least for me.
Through my eyes stare into me.
I bear my heart for all to see.
With my face turned to the sun there ever standing still.

It wasn't you it wasn't me it wasn't anyone.
It was a day so long awaited and a chance to be as me.
I let the wind run through my hands
as I turned to walk away.
In distant days I long to sense it all so clear.

And fighting time so hard I pray
that this moment lasts forever.
And will the world stay standing still at least for me.
Through my eyes stare into me.
I bear my heart for all to see.
With my face turned to the sun there ever standing still.
And fighting time so much I ask.
I will this morning last forever.
Though seasons change and things come to pass
remain inside of me.
And fighting time so hard I pray
that this moment lasts forever.
and will the world stay standing still at least for me.

I had no faith before that day in any vow or deed.
Days followed days and years were meaningless.
Despite the wisdom of defeat
I bore my heart for all to see the wonders I'd seen.

These lyrics are poinant to me. For those of you who may think they have an inkling of which I speak: you are most likely incorrect. Only one knows the true story and they are not telling.

Vaguely, I suppose it means that I suck at life. That raise I thought I was getting? Not so much. I'm getting a raise, yes, but not what I asked for.

I was given three, very tangible and achievable goals at work. I achived two out of the three, with flying colors. The simplest of the three, I failed in. I can not begrudge my Specialists for saying so, because I know these things to be true. I did not take things seriously enough, and as a result, I may be out of luck.

Luckily enough, I did approach them with my request soon enough that I have an additional month in which to redeem myself. It means very little to be told that you are one of the best makeup artists (Quote: "One of our Power-sellers in Color") in the store when you are only making a pittance. Although to be fair, I did have the chance to nail all three objectives and I blew it. 66.6% is agreeably unacceptable by anyone's standards. In addtion to my remaining goal, I now have additional goals added on. I have thirty days in which to wow my specialists and store director.

Isn't it nice to feel like you've fucked something up beyond repair? Wish me luck.

Although, you may not hear from me very often anymore, because I am going to start looking for a second job. I can not pay my bills on the hours I am currently recieving. I am glad that my Specialists understand and know that I will not leave the fold. Regardless of which know that I love all of you.

Unconditionaly.