So Aegies and I have broken up. It's become far more permanent over the last hour then it was twenty four hours ago. Things have changed and the perspective is different.
Right now, I hate him more then I've ever hated the Evil One. Because I loved him so much more deeply then I ever loved the Evil One. At one time I wanted to have a life with him even though he never wanted that in return. I've known that for over a year, but all the same I kept hoping... Regarless of how much I may hate him, I hate myself so very much more.
But I know now that it was never going to be what I had hoped, and that even the friendship that I had hoped for isn't going to happen. I can't feel anything anymore. The one person I though would always be my friend... I was wrong, horribly wrong, and I am more alone now then I can remember being in years. And there is no end in sight, there is no way for us to make up now. It is really and truly over.
Best to cauterize the wound, lest it fester. So much for Prom.
Right now, I hate him more then I've ever hated the Evil One. Because I loved him so much more deeply then I ever loved the Evil One. At one time I wanted to have a life with him even though he never wanted that in return. I've known that for over a year, but all the same I kept hoping... Regarless of how much I may hate him, I hate myself so very much more.
But I know now that it was never going to be what I had hoped, and that even the friendship that I had hoped for isn't going to happen. I can't feel anything anymore. The one person I though would always be my friend... I was wrong, horribly wrong, and I am more alone now then I can remember being in years. And there is no end in sight, there is no way for us to make up now. It is really and truly over.
Best to cauterize the wound, lest it fester. So much for Prom.
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