demonbuttercup

so, i go to see mom. she is worse every time i see her. she said to me today, "I think i'm going home today." and poor thing, she isn't ready to come home. she is near delusional. i don't know but i think these hypoglycemic episodes have really messed with her head. i requested a complete psychological evaluation, but i don't know how it can help when she doesn't speak to anyone that can help her.

i come home and i see her old hat laying on her bedroom floor, the one with the Union Yes pins on it, and i just lost it. no matter how bad things between us got, i tended to always focus on the negative. she really wasn't that bad of a lady. a bit misguided and paranoid, but she was generous to a fault and i know now that her generosity was her way of making up for not being there as a kid.

i feel so sad now. i want my mama back.