demonbuttercup

Hey-Ya...i am talking to this new boy who really needs a girlfriend, and I dunno how I feel about that. I really just feel like playing the field, being a slut, ya know? I don't wanna be made to feel I am beneath someone for wanting what I want, so as much as this guy is nice, and cute, and who has great abs for...
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I am going to Death Valley for 3 days with my dad...we'll have turkey dinner somewhere in the desert.

Still no luck on the dating thing. I am trying not to dwell on it. It'll happen eventually.

My ex..ex...lover?? I hate that word. It's sooooo "Dynasty" or "Knots Landing." Well, he was telling me some graphic sexual story about him and his girlfriend and it...
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Again, subbed for a first grade class. They were monsters.

No luck on the dating thing. Met a guy off CL, but there were no sparks. He's a little too odd for me, and don't get me wrong--I love odd. But he's odd in a weird way, just a feeling I have.

So, here I am single and not-so-loving-it. I dunno what to do. Guess...
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So, today I subbed in two classes: drama and math - i am totally math retarded, and it didn't matter because these bad ass kids never listen to subs anyway.

still no news on my love life. it's HARD meeting new people when you don't have the time! i tried Craig's List, but all the ads are the same: "Seeking Thin, fit girl..." So, fuck...
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so, my friend Occam moved in. he'll be here temporarily until he and his girlfriend decide where the hell they will move to. i hate having roommates. this house is too small. i am just spoiled - now i can't raoam around here nekked anymore until he leaves (or goes to SF to hang with his lady).

so far, still undecided about this guy i...
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sorry i haven't updated this in a while.

mom is basically the same. they tell me she has slight dementia now. everytime i go to visit her, she asks for the candy i brought (i never brought her candy - she is on a strict diet), or the book she claims someone stole from her nightstand. other than that, she seems in good spirits.

my...
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so, i go to see mom. she is worse every time i see her. she said to me today, "I think i'm going home today." and poor thing, she isn't ready to come home. she is near delusional. i don't know but i think these hypoglycemic episodes have really messed with her head. i requested a complete psychological evaluation, but i don't know how it...
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so, i wrote this because my mom is in a comvalescent hospital, not doing her therapy, sitting silent as the psychologist talks to her, doing nothing but laying in bed. there's nothing wrong with her mind, other than being eccentric.

Mama, I just wanted you to help me
Through my rage/mania
Mucking across the deep muddy sadness
Desperate, unknowing, blaming
I only needed your help...
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well, this fella i was seeing isn't my type. he jokes around way too much, wherein i hardly feel i know the real him, you know? he also drinks too much. we don't have too much in common, and while i appreciete those who are a couple and who are rather opposite, if the other person isn't into it as well, it won't work. so,...
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went out and partied for my birthday. went to a wine bar for this burlesque show. well, it was $5 and we saw one girl only. she was good, but just one?

drank one glass of wine too much, got loud and obnoxious. my bad. that rarely happens to me.

it's saturday, so have a great one!

well, i went out on an online date last night. i thought that he looked pretty goofy from his photo, but guess what? he looked waaaaaay better than his photo.

we had sparks, it was nice. i really like his voice, all deep and shit.

guess i am finally getting over the last one. at long last.

ciao!

hi all...same old same with me. summer...this has to be the dullest summer ever on record for me. no lovers, few friends (they are all coupled) to hang with. it's hard not to just freak out and cry, but what else can i do but keep it together?