demigauge

for some reason i'm feeling more and more of a distance from people and things..and just wanting to shut myself away...probably cause i feel i don't measure up in many many ways to anything...so in my mind if i don't measure up i just better not be a bother to anyone...

early this morning after the KBOO thing i this pharse runing through my head...

the ugly duckling that will never be a swan...

weird that that would be something in my head so early in the morning...

also i keep thinking people don't see me as a girl or anything female wise...probably cause i try to act tough or something..or it could be i just look like a guy and sound like one...

anywho i think i hvae figured that maybe i should get rid of myself befor ei turn 21 or i'll just turn into an alcoholic trying to drown my depression in a moment of forgetfulness...

31days