delusion

Insomnia is lonely. I want to slam doors and say "Nice, asshole, real nice, leaving me alone like this." But, that's not fair. These are the hours that are meant to be quiet and empty.

Everyone sleeps but me. Even him. Especially him.

Sunrises that come before sleep make me melancholy and ornery all at once. The ocean is especially loud this morning, even for high tide.

I open my mouth to tell him so, but it's been hours since he was here with me. Though every once in awhile I pretend, like a silly little girl.

I imagine the way he would look, standing naked in the doorway, squinting against the light. "Come to bed, girl, please", he would beg, "I can't sleep without you in my arms."

But, he doesn't say things like that and I would giggle if he ever did.

He doesn't need me and I don't need sleep.