earlier today when nobody was watching, i laid down and i died for a minute. maybe it was two. but nobody even noticed.
there, on my back, watching the backs of my eyelids, with my arms folded solemnly across my chest, i drank death and i smelled forever. i waited for the worms to come play pinnacle in my snout. i wondered who would cry, who would notice, what people would forget.
if delusion died, would you know that a poppy garden and the girl named julie that feeds it water had died as well?
while i died, my uterus cried for all the tiny lives it had never made. my tongue complained about chocolates it had never melted in belgium and reminded me of silky skin it had never been allowed to sweep. my eyes were persistant bastards flickering tragedies of beauty never seen besides on a screen. there are dirt roads in india, tide pools in ecuador and a wall i need to walk on top of in china. the travel channel told me so, while i watched instead of living.
i remembered that you still haven't bought my book and she still doesn't know how i think of her sometimes and smile at how lame i am when she's too near. i remembered that my mom has never said 'i was wrong about your writing'. shes never i said 'im proud of you' or 'its ok that you kiss girls'. i thought of all the boys that i have yet to make cry, of all the words i havent written and the way it hurts to try.
my dead heart wasn't sad for this, it was dead as i said, you see. but there my faithful ego was, it only cares for me. it reminded me that if i died i couldn't laugh at my own jokes. i probably couldn't masterbate 6 feet under in a box. and the dsl connection is shitty through the clouds up in heaven. so lucky you and lucky me i gave myself CPR. and back to life and here i am.
anybody miss me while i was gone?
*********************************
okay kids, here's the deal. friends list is massive and obnoxious. tell me one thing about me that you couldn't figure out from my profile. can't think of anything then i dont know you and you dont know me and you're gettin axed sucka.
as it stands....if you posted i'll keep you. but..
there were a few that stood out
SUPER HOMIES VIP LIST:
toneski
unite
timore
desirecomplex
eurisko
funky (for the poetry)
there, on my back, watching the backs of my eyelids, with my arms folded solemnly across my chest, i drank death and i smelled forever. i waited for the worms to come play pinnacle in my snout. i wondered who would cry, who would notice, what people would forget.
if delusion died, would you know that a poppy garden and the girl named julie that feeds it water had died as well?
while i died, my uterus cried for all the tiny lives it had never made. my tongue complained about chocolates it had never melted in belgium and reminded me of silky skin it had never been allowed to sweep. my eyes were persistant bastards flickering tragedies of beauty never seen besides on a screen. there are dirt roads in india, tide pools in ecuador and a wall i need to walk on top of in china. the travel channel told me so, while i watched instead of living.
i remembered that you still haven't bought my book and she still doesn't know how i think of her sometimes and smile at how lame i am when she's too near. i remembered that my mom has never said 'i was wrong about your writing'. shes never i said 'im proud of you' or 'its ok that you kiss girls'. i thought of all the boys that i have yet to make cry, of all the words i havent written and the way it hurts to try.
my dead heart wasn't sad for this, it was dead as i said, you see. but there my faithful ego was, it only cares for me. it reminded me that if i died i couldn't laugh at my own jokes. i probably couldn't masterbate 6 feet under in a box. and the dsl connection is shitty through the clouds up in heaven. so lucky you and lucky me i gave myself CPR. and back to life and here i am.
anybody miss me while i was gone?
*********************************
okay kids, here's the deal. friends list is massive and obnoxious. tell me one thing about me that you couldn't figure out from my profile. can't think of anything then i dont know you and you dont know me and you're gettin axed sucka.
as it stands....if you posted i'll keep you. but..
there were a few that stood out
SUPER HOMIES VIP LIST:
toneski
unite
timore
desirecomplex
eurisko
funky (for the poetry)
VIEW 25 of 46 COMMENTS
where is pbe working?
what is he taking at CC? (what is he interested in) (besides you)