Things have changed a lot since my best friend Joey died just before Christmas. My anger has subsided now and I've been dealing with my greif in a much more healthy way.
For a while now, years even, I've come to accept that my life took many detours and I missed many stops. I would never call it wasted time, but the silence in my life has been deafening in the past few months. It's been so much easier to feel helpless and victimized, which in turn makes it easier to turn to booze.
The news of Joey's death was for me followed by unbearable guilt. Even now just typing out his name i think of all the reasons he would have had to type out his name. Amazing job aplications, scholarships, love affairs, any number of things. I've taken this feeling of guilt and within it found oppertunity. Joey was my mentor, idol, and hero, and he was also always my biggest fan, always the one who believed most in my potential. Yet, while he was living a life full enough for 5 people to share, I continued to just inch along. Maybe it's just guilt, maybe I've been inspired, or maybe it's just a desperate last ditch effort and keeping myself from drowning. Maybe it's one of those things, but I like to think of it as picking up where he left off. I like to think of it as keeping with the cosmic balance of people who are really, really, ridiculously awesome.
So, without furthur ado, I shall escort you away from the dreary part of this blog entry, to the fun, goofy, typical me part of this blog entry! To ease your transition, here is a photo of my boobs.
My guitar and I have been very busy. I've been playing a show a week for the past 2 months and it's been amazing! I never thought I would be playing this often, but here I am! Someone from one of the venues even liked me so much they want me to come back and play a three hour set. So at the moment I'm tring to build up a bit larger of a repetoir of songs. This weekend I'm playing a charity show. I'm playing again next weekend, then again on march 15th, and I'm going to try to get another one in there somewhere. I did a song this past weekend at a burlesque show, and it was one of my favorite performances yet. I felt so much more theatrical, I want to take my performances to that level all the time.
Speaking of burlesque, our small sceen here has taken an amazing turn. Were hoping to get things running on a little more of a professional basis. Our show on saturday was unbelievable. huge huge turnout, amazing response from the crowd, and some of the best performances yet. We've had some people come to us with new oppertunities, and were also thinking about looking for a bigger venue. Lot's of new things coming up, and I'm hoping to work on a few solo's and a few numbers with two of my favorites. Yay Burlesque!
I've also started working for myfreecams. It's been a lot of fun, and I've met some really interesting people. Definitely made some friends. I really do love the internet. I feel as though I've conected myself through a lot of great oulets; Tumblr, Twitter, MFC, SG. It's something I really really enjoy doing. It's really a hobby, but I think it would be great if in the future I could have my music, dancing, and my internet life as my career. It's a dream, but it's also entirely possible. I'd like to start writing and submitting articles to different sites, blogs, and papers or magazines. Just about my experiences with internet sex culture and anything else I have something to say on.
A set for Suicide Girls is my next goal. I'm really just waiting for my photographer to have time to set a date with me. It's something I've wanted to do since I was 16 and first found out about the site. I'm crazy crazy excited about this. It would mean so so much to me to be a suicide girl.
That's most of what is interesting in my life now. I'm back at work making good money, trying to get back on the yoga train, and going to start at the gym as soon as I get myself financially situated. I'm hoping my future is full of spa services and nice restaurants, and maybe some booty. I havn't gotten laid in FOREVER. The more I stay away from sex the better. I got to deal with these evil sex demons.
So, tl;dr right? Well, heres more boobs.
THE END!
For a while now, years even, I've come to accept that my life took many detours and I missed many stops. I would never call it wasted time, but the silence in my life has been deafening in the past few months. It's been so much easier to feel helpless and victimized, which in turn makes it easier to turn to booze.
The news of Joey's death was for me followed by unbearable guilt. Even now just typing out his name i think of all the reasons he would have had to type out his name. Amazing job aplications, scholarships, love affairs, any number of things. I've taken this feeling of guilt and within it found oppertunity. Joey was my mentor, idol, and hero, and he was also always my biggest fan, always the one who believed most in my potential. Yet, while he was living a life full enough for 5 people to share, I continued to just inch along. Maybe it's just guilt, maybe I've been inspired, or maybe it's just a desperate last ditch effort and keeping myself from drowning. Maybe it's one of those things, but I like to think of it as picking up where he left off. I like to think of it as keeping with the cosmic balance of people who are really, really, ridiculously awesome.
So, without furthur ado, I shall escort you away from the dreary part of this blog entry, to the fun, goofy, typical me part of this blog entry! To ease your transition, here is a photo of my boobs.
My guitar and I have been very busy. I've been playing a show a week for the past 2 months and it's been amazing! I never thought I would be playing this often, but here I am! Someone from one of the venues even liked me so much they want me to come back and play a three hour set. So at the moment I'm tring to build up a bit larger of a repetoir of songs. This weekend I'm playing a charity show. I'm playing again next weekend, then again on march 15th, and I'm going to try to get another one in there somewhere. I did a song this past weekend at a burlesque show, and it was one of my favorite performances yet. I felt so much more theatrical, I want to take my performances to that level all the time.
Speaking of burlesque, our small sceen here has taken an amazing turn. Were hoping to get things running on a little more of a professional basis. Our show on saturday was unbelievable. huge huge turnout, amazing response from the crowd, and some of the best performances yet. We've had some people come to us with new oppertunities, and were also thinking about looking for a bigger venue. Lot's of new things coming up, and I'm hoping to work on a few solo's and a few numbers with two of my favorites. Yay Burlesque!
I've also started working for myfreecams. It's been a lot of fun, and I've met some really interesting people. Definitely made some friends. I really do love the internet. I feel as though I've conected myself through a lot of great oulets; Tumblr, Twitter, MFC, SG. It's something I really really enjoy doing. It's really a hobby, but I think it would be great if in the future I could have my music, dancing, and my internet life as my career. It's a dream, but it's also entirely possible. I'd like to start writing and submitting articles to different sites, blogs, and papers or magazines. Just about my experiences with internet sex culture and anything else I have something to say on.
A set for Suicide Girls is my next goal. I'm really just waiting for my photographer to have time to set a date with me. It's something I've wanted to do since I was 16 and first found out about the site. I'm crazy crazy excited about this. It would mean so so much to me to be a suicide girl.
That's most of what is interesting in my life now. I'm back at work making good money, trying to get back on the yoga train, and going to start at the gym as soon as I get myself financially situated. I'm hoping my future is full of spa services and nice restaurants, and maybe some booty. I havn't gotten laid in FOREVER. The more I stay away from sex the better. I got to deal with these evil sex demons.
So, tl;dr right? Well, heres more boobs.
THE END!