Stuff that plays on the tiny viola in my mind
I got another peice to my life's puzzle snapped into place today and it felt damn good. My wheels are finally ready, and I went to the dealership to see them. My new car is fucking fantastic - silver and gorgeous, and sporty!
Found myself excited and, against type, punching the air (when I got home) with a surging sense of pure self-satisfaction.
The down side?
I was thinking about what Mike would've thought - how psyched for me he would've been. I ended up looking at the portrait of my dead Brother on the dining room wall this afternoon, thinking about all the other crowning moments or goals reached in my life (and those to come) that he can't share in the flesh with me - and that it will be this way for the rest of my life. For a while I found myself talking out loud to him, in between sobs, like he was in the room.
I'd started to cry at the sheer damnable misery of this inescapable truth. . .
I got another peice to my life's puzzle snapped into place today and it felt damn good. My wheels are finally ready, and I went to the dealership to see them. My new car is fucking fantastic - silver and gorgeous, and sporty!
Found myself excited and, against type, punching the air (when I got home) with a surging sense of pure self-satisfaction.
The down side?
I was thinking about what Mike would've thought - how psyched for me he would've been. I ended up looking at the portrait of my dead Brother on the dining room wall this afternoon, thinking about all the other crowning moments or goals reached in my life (and those to come) that he can't share in the flesh with me - and that it will be this way for the rest of my life. For a while I found myself talking out loud to him, in between sobs, like he was in the room.
I'd started to cry at the sheer damnable misery of this inescapable truth. . .