Home alone, rattling around the house with a blocked nose and a sore throat!
What a way to spend a week! The Flu type whatever the hell it is has really taken it out of me these last few days. I've been medicated, so no drink, which has been a bit of a bummer since I still have a half bottle of Jack in the fridge. Bones are still weak as water and I have that fucking driving session at 4pm today - just sitting there on my schedule like a dead end!
I hope to fuck I pass my frigging test next Thursday. I haven't enjoyed learning to drive at all over the past 18 months. You have to have eyes in your arse on the roads these days as they're jammed with selfish assholes who don't indicate and more often than not don't look where the fuck they're going either. My instructor Barry is a nice guy, but impatient. He seems to want rid of me in favour of new students. My 36 quid a week is as good as anyone's I shoulda thought, but there you go. The addtional pressure to someone of my disposition does not help!
My utter lack of self confidence has been my nemesis all my life. I've never been able to believe in myself. Even when I know I can do something - I still doubt and fear. Our fear is the only real obstacle to the fulfilment of our goals, I feel, yet how does that manage to get past someone like me. Try explaining to the confident person how, if you have none, you can't just conjure confidence out of thin air. Being your own worst enemy is a curse I don't wish on anybody, trust me. Worrying is a self fulfilling profecy too. The more you think about your fears - the more they grow.
I mean, who do you get mad at, when the only real challenge you face is getting past your own doubts?
What a way to spend a week! The Flu type whatever the hell it is has really taken it out of me these last few days. I've been medicated, so no drink, which has been a bit of a bummer since I still have a half bottle of Jack in the fridge. Bones are still weak as water and I have that fucking driving session at 4pm today - just sitting there on my schedule like a dead end!
I hope to fuck I pass my frigging test next Thursday. I haven't enjoyed learning to drive at all over the past 18 months. You have to have eyes in your arse on the roads these days as they're jammed with selfish assholes who don't indicate and more often than not don't look where the fuck they're going either. My instructor Barry is a nice guy, but impatient. He seems to want rid of me in favour of new students. My 36 quid a week is as good as anyone's I shoulda thought, but there you go. The addtional pressure to someone of my disposition does not help!
My utter lack of self confidence has been my nemesis all my life. I've never been able to believe in myself. Even when I know I can do something - I still doubt and fear. Our fear is the only real obstacle to the fulfilment of our goals, I feel, yet how does that manage to get past someone like me. Try explaining to the confident person how, if you have none, you can't just conjure confidence out of thin air. Being your own worst enemy is a curse I don't wish on anybody, trust me. Worrying is a self fulfilling profecy too. The more you think about your fears - the more they grow.
I mean, who do you get mad at, when the only real challenge you face is getting past your own doubts?