deflicted

i hate myself and my life
i dont know why i go i bitch i complain i stay silent i shut up i shot off i stay closed off i stay closed up
and its my own fault
no one else to blame
im sick
im tired im so sick and so tired i go on for others that is all
id ont go on or live for my self yet i am helpful and i am selfish
i keep to my self othertimes i spread what little i ve got to everyone on the streets out in the open just to feeel
i dont feel
i dont feel
right now i dont feel anything i feel nothing i am nothing
i am nothing
i am no one
i have no meaning
i have no substance
i have no sustance
i used to thing i had a purpose
a reason for being
that was just a pipe dream and the bottom of a bottle i keep drinking towards
i have no one i am no one
i mean nothing to no one
that the maybe one or two who i dont mean a little something to are just not here
alone
is what i am
who i am
alone is what i will be to my dying day which will be sooner probably than later
or later cause i guess some how i pissed them off for making it this far
as if this far is anywhere
alone
i just died in nobodys arms tonight
must have been something u said
alone