Life has been crazy lately. I was dating a girl for a few months and that dissolved as quick as it started. She was just not wanting to accept that I have a good (plutonic) relationship with my ex wife who is the mother of my son. I’m friend with not just her but her current husband. My ex also didn’t like that I don’t need to argue about everything and that apparently makes me “not real” and she only wanted me to be “real” with her. I never lied and just didn’t see the point in getting mad about everything. It was just a bad time.
My ex of 3 years (not my son’s mom) that I found had cheated on me last September had sent me a 3 page apology letter soaked in perfume. It was nice to get an apology and to have her accept responsibility for her actions as she had previously not done that. I didn’t think anything of it though until I saw her in person when I was picking up my son from school. It was crazy. I hadn’t seen her in about 4 months and was shocked. She cried and hugged me and told me she still loved me but she’s still dating the guy who she cheated on me with. I’ve had to force myself to pull back and leave her alone because I can’t be a back up and I can’t watch her date that guy. It would just hurt too much still. Maybe I’m a dumbass for still caring but I’m really trying to move on.
On April 30th I unfortunately received the terrible news that my cousin who was serving in the Navy had taken his own life. It’s been really hard to wrap my head around it. He used to live with me and I only have pictures of us from when he was 4 because shortly after that I left for the Air Force and started my life. He was 20 years old... still kind of a kid himself. He was a good guy who loved his job as a corpsman and loved his job. He was very shy and was just starting to come out of his shell. I’ve been trying to get my old service dress uniform in order so I can wear it to his funeral. I never thought I’d have to do that for a family member. I wish I could have talked to him and said something to help him. Let him know he’s loved and cared about and appreciated. It might not have changed anything but he should have been told that regardless. RIP Aaron.
I’ve still been hitting the gym a lot to clear my head and I’m super close to getting back into the Air Force. Here’s a current progress picture post workout. I hope things start looking up soon. I could really use some good news.
