I'm a big fat loser.
A friend once said to me, "Awww, youre turning into a suit! Pretty soon, you'll even have the suit, and you'll be working out in the company gym and the whole thing!"
She was right. Now I function solely as the property of a Microsoft subsidiary.
Hell, I won't even be able to celebrate Halloween properly this year. Tried to get time off, only to find out exactly how much my ass is owned by a company.
Wouldn't be so bad if I still lead a crazy and interesting life on the weekends... but that's basically out of the question. I've alienated myself from those I held so dear due to my own fucked up conceptions of love, and now it becomes painfully clear exactly how expendable I was in those relationships. Other friends have turned their back due to this shit, and I'm left with no one to talk to at the end of the day.
All in all, it boils down to needing to work/clean/run errands constantly to keep from breaking down, and sitting on this site, venting to a populous with better things to do than listen to my crap. Basically, being a tool and camping out on livejournal. Greaaaaaat.
All I know is this: there is only one reason right now to continue this charade called life. And if she passes away, I will completely give up, plain and simple.
I reiterate: I'm a big fat loser.
A friend once said to me, "Awww, youre turning into a suit! Pretty soon, you'll even have the suit, and you'll be working out in the company gym and the whole thing!"
She was right. Now I function solely as the property of a Microsoft subsidiary.
Hell, I won't even be able to celebrate Halloween properly this year. Tried to get time off, only to find out exactly how much my ass is owned by a company.
Wouldn't be so bad if I still lead a crazy and interesting life on the weekends... but that's basically out of the question. I've alienated myself from those I held so dear due to my own fucked up conceptions of love, and now it becomes painfully clear exactly how expendable I was in those relationships. Other friends have turned their back due to this shit, and I'm left with no one to talk to at the end of the day.
All in all, it boils down to needing to work/clean/run errands constantly to keep from breaking down, and sitting on this site, venting to a populous with better things to do than listen to my crap. Basically, being a tool and camping out on livejournal. Greaaaaaat.
All I know is this: there is only one reason right now to continue this charade called life. And if she passes away, I will completely give up, plain and simple.
I reiterate: I'm a big fat loser.