Okay-
Something is seriously going on here. I feel like I am falling in love with everyone, and that's no exaggeration. I don't get what it is.
Partially, I am a bit at odds with some people at school, or they are choosing not to like me, which is fine, I suppose. I think that I piss them off by being courteous and loud/outspoken often. It's a big tank, I'm swimming in here, but not too bog. The allure is wearing off, I'm certain, and I forget that people are really stressed a lot of the time.
I recognized that I had a nice time with someone I prefer not to be with, although the time itself was enjoyable. I think being a Hippie is enough to piss me off, though. She is nice enough.
I still honestly think that people HATE me, or that they're being passive aggressive here, though. It's like, the IN THE MIDDLE song by Jimmy Eat World won't cut it, beyond making me happy a little teensy weensie bit, you know?
Anyhow, even though I am rediculously scared to death of the entire idea, I think that I might end up really liking and enjoying the company of one fellow-classmate in particular. She too came out of a long term relationship, but hers ended only a short while ago, so I can focus on being friends more than anything for some time to come, perhaps, but I think the is wonderful and I have held an unspoken crush on her for some time. Today I had lunch with her and some others, and it was particularly nice.
It's like, I want to do things that are all super intimate around her, like get her a blanket, and make her coffee in coffee cups. She says she left her relationship because it was coming down to a marriage of simplicity and not one of preference, essentially. She was gutsy, there.
She's pfc.
Then there's another one, who is not going to be more than a friend I believe who is quite wonderful and cool, also. I think she wrote me off a lot, but that's done with. She came back to see me, which was very nice. At first, thinking about the female above, I kind of got freaked out, because the woman I am speaking about now is really pretty facially, and I feel somewhat conflicted internally about the whole thing, but I figure love is something that is defined in the moments, you know?
I wish I could say things like I'm Straight, Bi-, Hetero, Bestial, whatever, you know? When it comes down too it, however, it's really about who you are spending your time with and how you chose to share it. That becomes really tough for me, because I am trying quite cautiously to branch out socially, and do NOT want to subject myself to severe limitations. Even though the lady/gal? (I LIKE lady), earlier-mentioned, may have already sent out the quite right signals that would make us a good fit.
I think I promised myself no marriage until I'm a senior citizen in Vegas, though.
-Variety, I'll stock up on electric heaters, tea, coffee, and sweaters!
I have been improving on my piano, slowly, but methodically. I feel like I'm expanding into different territories and that they are resourceful.
I am also avoiding working on HW.
Good-night boys and girls.
I must do things quite differently and NOT distract myself, beyond typing out my thoughts on this page. Anything beyond that could kill me swiftly...
-BOY
Something is seriously going on here. I feel like I am falling in love with everyone, and that's no exaggeration. I don't get what it is.
Partially, I am a bit at odds with some people at school, or they are choosing not to like me, which is fine, I suppose. I think that I piss them off by being courteous and loud/outspoken often. It's a big tank, I'm swimming in here, but not too bog. The allure is wearing off, I'm certain, and I forget that people are really stressed a lot of the time.
I recognized that I had a nice time with someone I prefer not to be with, although the time itself was enjoyable. I think being a Hippie is enough to piss me off, though. She is nice enough.
I still honestly think that people HATE me, or that they're being passive aggressive here, though. It's like, the IN THE MIDDLE song by Jimmy Eat World won't cut it, beyond making me happy a little teensy weensie bit, you know?
Anyhow, even though I am rediculously scared to death of the entire idea, I think that I might end up really liking and enjoying the company of one fellow-classmate in particular. She too came out of a long term relationship, but hers ended only a short while ago, so I can focus on being friends more than anything for some time to come, perhaps, but I think the is wonderful and I have held an unspoken crush on her for some time. Today I had lunch with her and some others, and it was particularly nice.
It's like, I want to do things that are all super intimate around her, like get her a blanket, and make her coffee in coffee cups. She says she left her relationship because it was coming down to a marriage of simplicity and not one of preference, essentially. She was gutsy, there.
She's pfc.
Then there's another one, who is not going to be more than a friend I believe who is quite wonderful and cool, also. I think she wrote me off a lot, but that's done with. She came back to see me, which was very nice. At first, thinking about the female above, I kind of got freaked out, because the woman I am speaking about now is really pretty facially, and I feel somewhat conflicted internally about the whole thing, but I figure love is something that is defined in the moments, you know?
I wish I could say things like I'm Straight, Bi-, Hetero, Bestial, whatever, you know? When it comes down too it, however, it's really about who you are spending your time with and how you chose to share it. That becomes really tough for me, because I am trying quite cautiously to branch out socially, and do NOT want to subject myself to severe limitations. Even though the lady/gal? (I LIKE lady), earlier-mentioned, may have already sent out the quite right signals that would make us a good fit.
I think I promised myself no marriage until I'm a senior citizen in Vegas, though.
-Variety, I'll stock up on electric heaters, tea, coffee, and sweaters!
I have been improving on my piano, slowly, but methodically. I feel like I'm expanding into different territories and that they are resourceful.
I am also avoiding working on HW.
Good-night boys and girls.
I must do things quite differently and NOT distract myself, beyond typing out my thoughts on this page. Anything beyond that could kill me swiftly...
-BOY
saya:
G'nite!