Being home,
It's like cinder blocks falling all around your feet while you stare at your friends in the same room, wondering more often than not, what the fuck happened quite silently.
I can say that this trip has been quite wonderful, which it has, but there's a lot going on behind this too. I am already beginning to wonder whether coming back is a good idea at all, anymore. Of course, there's always family which is reason enough, but my friends have become sort of less so my friends, which is unfortunate, but true.
I went out for New Year's, but the band of which I was a member is a majority of my friendly group. It is hard watching them practice without me.
I downloaded a couple of free recording programs onto my laptop, to appease the "musician" in me. That'll show those jerks who are my friends who are playing music without me that I am not worthless. I don't think that they believe I am worthless either, but without having that behind me, I'm uncertain how "valuable" I am to them.
As a matter of fact, without drinking, one might wonder what good we are as friends... Scratch that. I'm just being pessimistic because my friends didn't want to watch the cult movie "Sore Loser" the entire way through, which hurt my feelings a bit, but EVERYONE was pretty hung-over in a bad way and that made a late-night movie a bad event anyhow. I was sad though, because I am getting ready to leave town, and this is a sucky almost last event.
Lesley's in Sacramento, CA. I think we're both kind of reevaluating each other from a distance right now. Who knows how that will work out. I just know that I have a lot of desires, and that she may not match them all. I'm also uncertain that I have the right outlets to get me through the rest of this "event"(law-school). I can do the work, and that's fine. Resumes, internships, etc.; that's the tough stuff.
I'm wishing for a great year.
Did you know that other people really think I am cute and attractive? I guess it takes leaving town to find that one out for certain. I've actually become a thrift-store clothes horse while I am here also. I'm missing out on tons of great clothes in NY, but never fear. Kansas is my co-pilot, and their thrift stores are an extremely under-tapped resource by the rest of the nation!
I got the coolest belt buckle ever.
Well, this has been posting for now, but more frequent ones will come in the future.
To the new year!
boy
It's like cinder blocks falling all around your feet while you stare at your friends in the same room, wondering more often than not, what the fuck happened quite silently.
I can say that this trip has been quite wonderful, which it has, but there's a lot going on behind this too. I am already beginning to wonder whether coming back is a good idea at all, anymore. Of course, there's always family which is reason enough, but my friends have become sort of less so my friends, which is unfortunate, but true.
I went out for New Year's, but the band of which I was a member is a majority of my friendly group. It is hard watching them practice without me.
I downloaded a couple of free recording programs onto my laptop, to appease the "musician" in me. That'll show those jerks who are my friends who are playing music without me that I am not worthless. I don't think that they believe I am worthless either, but without having that behind me, I'm uncertain how "valuable" I am to them.
As a matter of fact, without drinking, one might wonder what good we are as friends... Scratch that. I'm just being pessimistic because my friends didn't want to watch the cult movie "Sore Loser" the entire way through, which hurt my feelings a bit, but EVERYONE was pretty hung-over in a bad way and that made a late-night movie a bad event anyhow. I was sad though, because I am getting ready to leave town, and this is a sucky almost last event.
Lesley's in Sacramento, CA. I think we're both kind of reevaluating each other from a distance right now. Who knows how that will work out. I just know that I have a lot of desires, and that she may not match them all. I'm also uncertain that I have the right outlets to get me through the rest of this "event"(law-school). I can do the work, and that's fine. Resumes, internships, etc.; that's the tough stuff.
I'm wishing for a great year.
Did you know that other people really think I am cute and attractive? I guess it takes leaving town to find that one out for certain. I've actually become a thrift-store clothes horse while I am here also. I'm missing out on tons of great clothes in NY, but never fear. Kansas is my co-pilot, and their thrift stores are an extremely under-tapped resource by the rest of the nation!
I got the coolest belt buckle ever.
Well, this has been posting for now, but more frequent ones will come in the future.
To the new year!
boy
saya:
yo 