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decota

West Palm Beach ,Florida

Member Since 2009

Followers 1483 Following 1558

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Wednesday Oct 05, 2011

Oct 5, 2011
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I think I have one more set in me and then i'm going to take a break from SG for a while.

It seems the bar has been raised to near unreachable heights!

It seems you can't have anything less then a 98/97 percentage and you need it immediately.
Although SG staff can sometimes go back and Pink somebody or buy a set after it's been up for a while, I still feel like I need a break.

I spend a lot of time on SG, talking to people, supporting hopefuls and promoting mine and my favorites girls sets.
I've been a devoted member and a devoted Hopeful. But it's a lot of work.

So its hard for me, being a Hopeful of 2 years to see girls go pink after one set, or only a few hours. its extremely discouraging. it makes me think that no matter how much fun I have, how much support I give or get that somehow its not enough.

Be it weight, looks, personality, quality of photography or poses, I can't seem do as I please and please the masses. Its not quite matching up.

Although being SG isn't everything it IS my goal! A goal I seem to be failing at. I'm so close, and with every set I get closer, but It is extremely hard on my self esteem to continually put myself out there and not quite make it.

I love shooting sets. And I don't want set of the day for $500.00. Frankly they can keep the money.
Being Pink , becoming an official Suicide Girl, would be for the principle. That Any Beautiful Woman of any Shape or Size would be accepted in this realm for Beauty Redefined. That any man or woman or branch of Society that has told me I'm not beautiful because my hips are too large, my breasts are too small or that Tattoos are ugly, I could say to them," Apparently not if this community is standing behind me and women like me!"

I know this community IS behind me! And I do feel beautiful. I think Every Girl on here is Beautiful! But as it Grows and changes and the beauty is growing and changing, It seems with each passing day my goal is getting harder to reach.

I will not quit trying. I am not angry. But I am tired.

I will shoot one more set. And then I will take a break from SG. So I can Regain my strength, perseverance and self-confidence in my unique beauty.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
eedork:
I have wondered about the same thing you describe in that SG used to be about "total" beauty. I've only been here for a short time but it seems like there is a trend in that girls that I would consider more traditional model type. I agree that all the women I see here are beautiful, you define so much more of what I find to be gorgeous. Your intelligence is amazingly hot. How you articulate your thoughts and make us laugh or think, is amazing. I would never bag on any girls here, but I think you are more Pink than any I have come to know. Stay gorgeous!! You are awesome.
Oct 7, 2011
sausage7:
Don't ever give up. You're beautiful and will make it soon. Keep pushing.
Oct 9, 2011

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