The first time I went to a strip club I was 16. I must say certain aspects of the experience were amazing, like the hot naked ladies who had no problem putting their huge fake tits in my face. Kooter-ball was pretty awesome too. But overall I was disappointed with the whole experience. I had seen the movies Strip Tease and Flash Dance and well, as naive as I was, that was what I thought stage dances really looked like.
Instead I got lame music, annoying DJs and girls that barely moved on-stage. Not to mention there wasnt any fucking striping. They came out on-stage already naked! They really should change the name to Naked Lady Club. That sounds like a more appropriate nomenclature.
After Id seen all the naked ladies I got bored. There wasnt much else for me to do. Im a Cockatarian not a Vagitarian. A girl is nice to look at but I dont really want to eat it. So lap dances dont do much for me either. I wanted more from the whole experience. I wanted to see tasseled costumes, crazy hair flinging and water dumping on a girl in leg warmers. I wanted a fucking Show! Needless to say I havent spent much time in Stripped Already Clubs.
But, on Friday, My favorite gal-pal Jersey introduced me to a little place called Jumbos Clown Room. A small stage, yes. But Big Entertainment graced its tip-rail with finesse, gigantic shoes, go-go costumes and pole moves that can melt your face off!
Jumbos is a traditional Burlesque bar in Hollywood. The girls were phenomenal pole dancers with hot bodies and really put on one hell of a fucking show. One girl, who clearly was an ex-gymnast/ballerina, started her song off but putting her leg behind her head while standing on one platform go-go boot complete with a full ruffled tutu and her hair tucked in a bun. She did back-bend kick-overs across the stage. She swung around the pole in a complete split. Climbed to the top of the pole and cascaded down, spinning so fast I had vertigo just watching her. She flung her skirt which landed on top of a guys head and then he gladly made it rain Washingtons. She was just one of the many Pole Nymphs that evening to shock and awe me with their talent. And these girls didnt even get naked.
All of them started off fully clothed and worked their way down to very elaborate bikinis with fringe, lace, interesting patterns, colors and just overall flair. They all looked different, had different moves and styles. There was no obnoxious DJ cutting each song off at the 2 minute and 30 second mark. And the music itself wasnt a bunch of 80s hair bands or rump-shakin-crap-rappers. It was good music. It was Rolling Stones, The Strokes, The Who. It was good old rock-n-roll and the crowd had such an up-beat positive energy that there was no way anybody in there was bored.
Not to mention there were as many girls in there as there were guys. Our group alone was Me, Jersey, a blonde bombshell and one dude. Drinks were not outrageous and the place was all around pumping.
All I could think the whole time was, I want to do this. I want to be up there. But theres one problem. I dont know how to pole dance! Lucky for me I live in the land of You-can-get-whatever-you-damn-well-please. So I Googled Pole Dancing Classes and I found, like, 10 studios in a 5 mile radius. So I think thats exactly what Im going to do. Lets just hope I dont end up on You Tube accidently lodging my go-go boot up my own ass in a tragic Pole Dancing Fail!
Instead I got lame music, annoying DJs and girls that barely moved on-stage. Not to mention there wasnt any fucking striping. They came out on-stage already naked! They really should change the name to Naked Lady Club. That sounds like a more appropriate nomenclature.
After Id seen all the naked ladies I got bored. There wasnt much else for me to do. Im a Cockatarian not a Vagitarian. A girl is nice to look at but I dont really want to eat it. So lap dances dont do much for me either. I wanted more from the whole experience. I wanted to see tasseled costumes, crazy hair flinging and water dumping on a girl in leg warmers. I wanted a fucking Show! Needless to say I havent spent much time in Stripped Already Clubs.
But, on Friday, My favorite gal-pal Jersey introduced me to a little place called Jumbos Clown Room. A small stage, yes. But Big Entertainment graced its tip-rail with finesse, gigantic shoes, go-go costumes and pole moves that can melt your face off!
Jumbos is a traditional Burlesque bar in Hollywood. The girls were phenomenal pole dancers with hot bodies and really put on one hell of a fucking show. One girl, who clearly was an ex-gymnast/ballerina, started her song off but putting her leg behind her head while standing on one platform go-go boot complete with a full ruffled tutu and her hair tucked in a bun. She did back-bend kick-overs across the stage. She swung around the pole in a complete split. Climbed to the top of the pole and cascaded down, spinning so fast I had vertigo just watching her. She flung her skirt which landed on top of a guys head and then he gladly made it rain Washingtons. She was just one of the many Pole Nymphs that evening to shock and awe me with their talent. And these girls didnt even get naked.
All of them started off fully clothed and worked their way down to very elaborate bikinis with fringe, lace, interesting patterns, colors and just overall flair. They all looked different, had different moves and styles. There was no obnoxious DJ cutting each song off at the 2 minute and 30 second mark. And the music itself wasnt a bunch of 80s hair bands or rump-shakin-crap-rappers. It was good music. It was Rolling Stones, The Strokes, The Who. It was good old rock-n-roll and the crowd had such an up-beat positive energy that there was no way anybody in there was bored.
Not to mention there were as many girls in there as there were guys. Our group alone was Me, Jersey, a blonde bombshell and one dude. Drinks were not outrageous and the place was all around pumping.
All I could think the whole time was, I want to do this. I want to be up there. But theres one problem. I dont know how to pole dance! Lucky for me I live in the land of You-can-get-whatever-you-damn-well-please. So I Googled Pole Dancing Classes and I found, like, 10 studios in a 5 mile radius. So I think thats exactly what Im going to do. Lets just hope I dont end up on You Tube accidently lodging my go-go boot up my own ass in a tragic Pole Dancing Fail!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
estrada:
Pole tricks are neat.
skaana:
Sounds like a cool place. I have to admit somtimes I like the dirtyness of a strip club. I took my wife once and watched her get a lap dance (so Hot).