decayingmatter

Somewhat of a strange morning. Woke up late for work, then when I get there I have an email saying that one of my friends killed himself on Friday.....

His name was Curtis, and he was the ex boyfriend of one of my good friends Sam. He would come to most of our shindigs at the appartment, Usually kept to himself, but eventually opened up to all of us and turned out to be a really cool kid. Since my work dominates my life I was unaware that Sam and him broke up a few months ago, then Curtis went on a Heroin binge. And late last friday night shot himself in the head.

I wonder if there was someting we could have done, he was out of sight and out of mind. We all assumed that he had found another girl and thats why he didn't hang out with us. Obvously we were wrong. Its a really strange feeling. I didn't know him enough to cry about it, but I knew him enough to have it hit me harder than I thought. His funeral is on Friday, I guess I have time to think about it.

To me, the idea of Suicide is the ultimate fuck you to everyone you have ever knew of cared about, I don't know how people could be so selfish.

Sorry for the Downer guys, I had to get this off my chest.