deboraborealis

look at how cool i was at 16. i bought a new pair of shoes a couple of days ago and it almost made me cry. because i am so sick of working in offices and wearing shit clothes. i want to wear gold and black hi-tops. i want to get tattooed into oblivion. i want to have my septum ring in and i want to be allowed to do what i want. i feel like i'm doing teenaged deborah a huge disservice. i always swore once i got out of school i'd dress how i want no matter what. it's incredible how soul destroying it can be dressing like a square when you know that underneath you're circular or oval shaped. all i have is my fringe, these days that is meaningless. every tom dick and josephine has a fringe and all connotations of coolness have disintegrated. i do not want to be those awful people that i see every morning on the train and every evening on the way home. no amount of money is worth hiding your light under a bushel. and travelling two hours to a job that is demeaning and terrible. and next month i have to move house for the 4th time in a year. the 3rd time was enough to leave me on medication. in 2007 i resolve to adhere to my own high standards. love to you all and happy christmas.