deboraborealis

And I know it's a cat - (The "that's not a cat" remark is from an episode of Friends where Phoebe bought a Sphynx cat).

I used to run a kennel and loved Egyptian and African animals - had a Pharaoh hound at one time and here's an Egyptian Mau, in case you've never seen one:


Cool looking, huh? And not inside out like that other thing you try to pass off as a cat.

I'm working out a new arrangement for "The Cat Came Back" to add to my sets when I play for children.

Here's another cat song I do - I'm not including Pussy Perfume, the unreleased song by Puddle of Mudd, as it isn't about a cat, but this one is:

Railroad Bill was a hard-working man;
He used to take his women two at a time.
Everyone agreed he was the baddest engineer
That ever drove upon the Santa Fe line.
His name was known from the folks back home
To the tippy-top of Telegraph Hill;
And all the little boys, while they were sneaking cigarettes,
Used to dream about the Railroad Bill

Well, one day Bill was walking along,
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree.
When he saw what was the matter, he ran to get a ladder,
To set that kitty cat free.

Bill said "No, I ain't gonna do it;
Ain't gonna climb up no tree!
This is a stupid stupid song and no two-bit singer's
Gonna make a fool outta me!"

I said, one day Bill was walking along,
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree.
When he saw what was the matter, he ran to get a ladder,
To set that kitty cat free.

Bill said "No! I ain't gonna do it;
Ain't gonna do what you said
This is a stupid freakin' song, and as far as I'm concerned
That cat can stay there till it's dead!"

I said, "Wait a minute, Bill, you can't argue with me;
For God's sake, I just made you up!
I got the pen in my hand - I want you up in that tree;
I want that cat unstuck!"

Bill said "No! I hate cats!
Ain't gonna climb for no cat!
Why don't you have me save some beautiful girl
Who's been tied down to the railroad track?"

I said "Maybe there'll be room in the 8th or 9th verse,
But right now I want you up in that tree.
I'm the writer, my man; I got the pen in my hand,
And you're supposed to listen to me!"

He said, "You asshole!!
Why should I listen to you?! You should be listening to me instead!
I'm a railroad man, and if I was real
I'd separate your face from your head!"

"You ungrateful brute!" I cried, "You've pushed me too far;
I gotta show you I can do as I please!"
So an earthquake came, and it shook the whole terrain,
And brought Railroad Bill to his knees.
And then a tidal wave broke, and everything got soaked;
Bill was almost completely washed away.
And then a big green monster from the planet Neptune landed
And bit Railroad Bill on the leg.

"I got the pen in my hand!
I can do what I want!
I'm a up-and-coming talent on the rise!
So get your ass up that tree, or I swear you ain't gonna
Get out of my folk song alive!"

He said, "You don't scare me;
You might be funny, but you don't scare me!
And if you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna tell everybody
Where you stole this melody."

But before he could speak, his tongue fell out,
And he could not make a sound.
Suddenly he jumped on top of me and grabbed me by the neck,
And pulled me to the ground!
And he hit me in the stomach!
And he hit me in the face real hard;
I think he almost broke my nose.
Just then a lightning bolt came outta nowhere,
Hit him right between the eyes, and killed him instantly.

The cat came down from the tree, had a bowl of warm milk,
Went to sleep for the night
Railroad Bill is survived by a wife and three small children . . .
Dear God, I love to write!