so, getting rid of car soon, getting a tattoo very soon and debating about whether or not to continue therapy. who knows what the future holds...
desided:
just think happiness. Click the ruby red slippers together and dream
debbiewoes:
oh to dream...
therapy is really helping. 9am-3pm, M-F...it's a lot to take in and handle, but if i can get through it, i'll be better for it. my meds are getting worked out and i m not nearly as stressed, which is def a good thing. i dunno, i m just so fucking lonely all the time and i don't know how to deal with it. soon...
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serrated:
hang in there, everyone goes through tough times, you will pull through and be stronger for it.
debbiewoes:
thanks! i'm hanging in there as best as i can!
much has happened since i have posted last. i am still extremely depressed and even more manic. i feel like the pills aren't helping anymore. they are just making me lethargic and well, completely out of it. i want to LIVE my life. i have been to the ER more times in the past month than prob since i when i was first conceived. my...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
debbiewoes:
very good advice...i really just need to clear my head...and i just started this intensive therapy program, but the thing is is that it's all group therapy and not one on one so i don't think it's gonna help too much.
serrated:
yo, don't drink on any type of meds... I had a girl come to my house at 2am and then had a seizure right in front of me because she drank on wellbutrin... scared the shit outta me....be careful...I used to drink like a shark for my social anxiety but ended up in rehab because of it.... clean and sober now and would not change it for anything...hang in there, most of these feelings pass, though a good psychiatrist in a one-on-one session may be able to steer you in the right direction.
things are looking up i guess. just getting through each day, one day at a time. that's really all i can do. being on birth control makes me a monster and being on all these anti depressants/psychotics makes me a fucking zombie, so it's a real toss up as to what mood i'm in on any given day or at any given moment. but other...
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so after being in a relationship for 6 years, 2 of those married, i've really lost sight of who i am and what i want in life, so today as corny as it sounds, i am making a long and detailed list of goals for myself to achieve in the near and distant future. some things daily, some things long term. here are some that...
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desided:
how about painting or sculpture, yoga? I'm trying to rekindle my photography. As hobbies go though, if you can find one with a group of people it helps in a lot of ways. I didnt find myself when i travelled alone but when im in a group my individuality shines through. If your comfortable with it you could model
debbiewoes:
very good advice and i have taken up yoga and it helps a lot.
binge eating. bad idea. anti depressants combined with binge eating...extremely bad idea. that was my night and my day is going good so far...fingers crossed.
desided:
I hover around the question in my head "why?" not that i can probably understand or comprehend your answer, nor should i probably ask it. Its just that I need something to take my mind away from my own thoughts. That and you look like a butterfly
debbiewoes:
yeah i dunno why i do the things i do. and a butterfly? interesting.
life just keep getting more and more fucked lately. now i am without a car and looking for a bike as in a bicycle. i dunno...i just need someone to cuddle with and lay with all day long and someone to just tell me its gonna be ok. thats what i need. i'm out.
so my life is still here, pretty much right where i left it. i voluntarily committed myself into a psych hospital, but now i am back only to learn that it's time to take charge of my fucking life. and this time i am doing everything that i ve ever wanted to do/try and it's an amazing feeling. anyways, staying with a friend until i...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
realistic67:
Stick to your Dreams... Hone them.... carry them like a Weapon.....because sometimes it's a hard fight to get there...
debbiewoes:
thanks for the kind words and encouragement, b/c i need it. much appreciated.
goals for the single and independent new year:
sing and write more music
learn the guitar
make more friends.new friends
separate myself from old attachments
live for me....this is in no part order, but this should def be at the top!
get a tattoo and a piercing
and there are many more, but those are the ones i can think of currently
sing and write more music
learn the guitar
make more friends.new friends
separate myself from old attachments
live for me....this is in no part order, but this should def be at the top!
get a tattoo and a piercing
and there are many more, but those are the ones i can think of currently
so, officially split from my six year long relationship/marriage. this is the hardest thing i have ever had to go through in my life. i need all the support i can get right now and it just isn't really happening. i am excited about being single again tho. went to the bar last night and had a really good time! alright, well can't write too...
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so, went to a christmas party last night and got pretty wasted, which was fun. i always get pressured into taking shots, well i mean, i am a pretty easy target. but i did have a good time. however drinking on anti depressants isn't such a god idea and i know this, yet i do it anyway. ah, when will i ever learn.... oh well,...
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beebop:
hello and thank you. happy holidays 
enginerdo:
my formula is: shots of any color early, clear liquor/mixed drinks in the middle, and lots of whiskey & waters towards the end of the night. fun stuff!