Last week, I disabled my facebook account. I've done this twice now in less than 2 years. Why? Some people would see this as a crazy thing to do. I've even had like 2 or 3 friends who messaged me via other channels as to why I did it again. Truth is, its hard for me to simply describe. I guess its because I've never really been in the whole popularity contest thing. Which, Facebook seems to be for me. Second, I feel like I had it just because other people had one and it is the cool thing to do (bad reason). Third, I feel like Facebook is not the place on the internet that I need to be. I feel like I have to censor myself because my born-again christian brother who is on my friends list might feel the need to tell my also born again christian parents that my facebook status said "I like beer, I'm not joking, I really mean it, I like beer". Well, its true I do like beer. Its not like I'm posting, "I like pussy". Which, I do of course, but obviously I wouldnt post something that could offend 98% of the people on my friend list. What is the solution to this problem? Delete my jesus-loving brother from my friends list? Choose to not post something as jokingly deviant as "i love beer"? Is it ridiculous to have to censor what I really want to say just because I know there is a good chance there will be backlash? I have a friend who got butt-hurt because he saw pictures that I had posted of a night on the town with a mutual friend and he texted me and said, "hey, where was my invite on that night"? You might say, "hey, thats fucked up, why didnt you invite that friend to that night on the town"? Well, the answer is complicated, but I assure you, its valid.
I feel like this happens a lot on social networking sites like facebook. Its dangerous ground to be so candid about yourself because you never know how things can backfire on you. A friend of a friend saw that you went out with so and so, and that upsets your ex girlfriend who you cant seem to bring yourself to delete from your friends list because it would be uncomfortable for the both of you, so now she spies on you and sees who you're going out with or what kind of flirty comments you leave on your female friends walls, so in an act of revenge, she posts as her profile pic, a shot of her and her new wonderful boyfriend embracing cheek to cheek at a local sporting event that may as well have a thought bubble coming from your ex's head that reads, "hee hee, this'll piss him off good".
Real life is drama enough, and we've all run into moments when we were still on myspace or now on facebook where something like this has happened because before we gave so much of ourselves to the social network for the world to see. In the past, we would keep these things to ourselves because it was no one else's fucking business what you just ate for lunch or whether I just got my car washed or whether I felt tired. Sure there are privacy settings which are fine and dandy, but let's face it, the facebook/myspace social network is a big circle jerk where people are trying to get as many others as they can to stroke them as often as possible, but most importantly so that the others in the circle can see just how many of their 300 or more friends are doing it to them, and posting the status of your climax from start to finish because you want to keep your friends connected to every little thing you do.
I'll be honest though, I've got back in touch with someone that I went to grade school with who is now a great friend because I found them on facebook. It turns out we share a lot of things in common. Score 1 for Facebook. But, Facebook also poses obstacles which makes me dislike it. What to do, what to do.....I've been more active on SG the last week simply because there is no one on here who knows me personally. And I kinda like that. I dont have to worry in the least about censorship because its not bloody likely that it will come back to bite me. I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way about popular social sites. The question is, with how much emphasis that is put on facebook, and for those like me who have benefitted on occassion from facebook, but honestly find the rest of it to be a pain in the fucking ass, how do we take the good and leave the bad from the social network machine so that it works in our favor by being drama-free? Is it possible? Not sure, but I guess I'll just wait for the next social networking site to bump facebook into oblivion and see if it offers greener pastures.
I feel like this happens a lot on social networking sites like facebook. Its dangerous ground to be so candid about yourself because you never know how things can backfire on you. A friend of a friend saw that you went out with so and so, and that upsets your ex girlfriend who you cant seem to bring yourself to delete from your friends list because it would be uncomfortable for the both of you, so now she spies on you and sees who you're going out with or what kind of flirty comments you leave on your female friends walls, so in an act of revenge, she posts as her profile pic, a shot of her and her new wonderful boyfriend embracing cheek to cheek at a local sporting event that may as well have a thought bubble coming from your ex's head that reads, "hee hee, this'll piss him off good".
Real life is drama enough, and we've all run into moments when we were still on myspace or now on facebook where something like this has happened because before we gave so much of ourselves to the social network for the world to see. In the past, we would keep these things to ourselves because it was no one else's fucking business what you just ate for lunch or whether I just got my car washed or whether I felt tired. Sure there are privacy settings which are fine and dandy, but let's face it, the facebook/myspace social network is a big circle jerk where people are trying to get as many others as they can to stroke them as often as possible, but most importantly so that the others in the circle can see just how many of their 300 or more friends are doing it to them, and posting the status of your climax from start to finish because you want to keep your friends connected to every little thing you do.
I'll be honest though, I've got back in touch with someone that I went to grade school with who is now a great friend because I found them on facebook. It turns out we share a lot of things in common. Score 1 for Facebook. But, Facebook also poses obstacles which makes me dislike it. What to do, what to do.....I've been more active on SG the last week simply because there is no one on here who knows me personally. And I kinda like that. I dont have to worry in the least about censorship because its not bloody likely that it will come back to bite me. I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way about popular social sites. The question is, with how much emphasis that is put on facebook, and for those like me who have benefitted on occassion from facebook, but honestly find the rest of it to be a pain in the fucking ass, how do we take the good and leave the bad from the social network machine so that it works in our favor by being drama-free? Is it possible? Not sure, but I guess I'll just wait for the next social networking site to bump facebook into oblivion and see if it offers greener pastures.