weekend movie recap:
jason goes to hell
nevermind the fact that this is the SECOND friday the 13th movie to claim that it's the "final" and lie about it, i just have a hard time hating anything that that big, hulking lug jason is in. unfortunately, the story is horrible (jason had a sister? he body-hops?), the acting is just as bad, and the kills leave something to be desired. the practical effects in a couple of scenes are great though, and the needless slow motion is laughably "so bad it's good."
3 out of 5
blood diner
this is one of two movies that i watched this weekend featuring someone's head going into a deep fryer (jason goes to hell being the other one), but it's the only one to then have that head come out of the deep-fryer as a giant hush-puppy. this movie is absolutely bizarre and there's no other word for it. to even begin to try and describe it would do it a disservice. i'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. it's a remake of the 1963 H.G. Lewis film blood feast, and it's quite possibly one of the only movies that i've ever seen that i can actually say annoyed me at parts. i've disliked movies, i've loved movies, i've been confused by movies, but i have a hard time saying that i've ever been annoyed by any movie other than this one. it was just plain irritating. but anyway, it tries to be intentionally funny (but only succeeds on an unintentional level) it's smarmy, it's grand-guignol gory, and it's chock full of 80s haircuts. i can't say it's a good movie, but i enjoyed it, or at least the experience of watching it.
3 out of 5
national lampoon's blackball
it's a british comedy that isn't particularly funny about a british sport that isn't particularly entertaining or engaging (bowls). it also features an extended cameo from vince vaughn playing the same fast-talking, arrogant ass that he plays in most of his movies to varying degrees of success. paul kaye plays cliff starkey, a prodigal bowls player from the wrong side of town who sets the world of lawn bowling on its head with his devil-may-care attitude. wacky hijinks ensue until we all learn something at the end, familial relationships are patched up and our hero gets the girl. blah.
2 out of 5
the notorious bettie page
director mary harron (i shot andy warhol, american psycho) takes us through the life and times of "pin-up queen of the universe," bettie page (played here by gretchen mol). i was already vaguely familiar with bettie's story (iconic early fetish model in a time where such things are labelled "morally corrupting" who eventually gives her life to god and stops modelling), so the movie didn't contain any huge revelations. i was much more intrigued by harron's directing, which encorporated footage from the era and differentiated the confining new york city (where the bondage pictures were taken) from the liberating miami beach (where bunny yeager's nudes were taken) by filming ny in black and white and miami beach in 50s-tinged color. still, the movie is an interesting character study and snapshot of an era, though not as much as harron's other films.
3 out of 5
hellboy animated: sword of storms
i wanted to like this because it's hellboy, but this animated movie has been kiddified and sterilized enough so that it wasn't really interesting on any of the levels that hellboy should be--visually striking, full of evil, talk of end-times, and loaded with worldly mythologies (as well as lovecraft's otherworldly mythologies). it looked and felt like any action-based cartoon show that can be seen most times of day on nickelodeon, cartoon network, and abc family. the only thing saving it was hellboy himself, and the little side quests he went on that actually did incorporate japanese legends (including the hellboy comic story "heads").
3 out of 5
nick frost's danger: 50,000 volts
this british tv series, hosted by shaun of the dead's ed (otherwise known as nick frost), is a comedic look at a whole variety of survival scenarios, from navigating a mine-field to what to do if you fall through the ice. frost is charming and the little vignettes are entertaining. the re-caps at the end of each of them aren't really needed and slow the pace of the show down a bit, but it's a minor complaint.
4 out of 5
p.s. - is anybody else sick of the simpsons using musical montages as a way of avoiding any actual writing?
jason goes to hell
nevermind the fact that this is the SECOND friday the 13th movie to claim that it's the "final" and lie about it, i just have a hard time hating anything that that big, hulking lug jason is in. unfortunately, the story is horrible (jason had a sister? he body-hops?), the acting is just as bad, and the kills leave something to be desired. the practical effects in a couple of scenes are great though, and the needless slow motion is laughably "so bad it's good."
3 out of 5
blood diner
this is one of two movies that i watched this weekend featuring someone's head going into a deep fryer (jason goes to hell being the other one), but it's the only one to then have that head come out of the deep-fryer as a giant hush-puppy. this movie is absolutely bizarre and there's no other word for it. to even begin to try and describe it would do it a disservice. i'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. it's a remake of the 1963 H.G. Lewis film blood feast, and it's quite possibly one of the only movies that i've ever seen that i can actually say annoyed me at parts. i've disliked movies, i've loved movies, i've been confused by movies, but i have a hard time saying that i've ever been annoyed by any movie other than this one. it was just plain irritating. but anyway, it tries to be intentionally funny (but only succeeds on an unintentional level) it's smarmy, it's grand-guignol gory, and it's chock full of 80s haircuts. i can't say it's a good movie, but i enjoyed it, or at least the experience of watching it.
3 out of 5
national lampoon's blackball
it's a british comedy that isn't particularly funny about a british sport that isn't particularly entertaining or engaging (bowls). it also features an extended cameo from vince vaughn playing the same fast-talking, arrogant ass that he plays in most of his movies to varying degrees of success. paul kaye plays cliff starkey, a prodigal bowls player from the wrong side of town who sets the world of lawn bowling on its head with his devil-may-care attitude. wacky hijinks ensue until we all learn something at the end, familial relationships are patched up and our hero gets the girl. blah.
2 out of 5
the notorious bettie page
director mary harron (i shot andy warhol, american psycho) takes us through the life and times of "pin-up queen of the universe," bettie page (played here by gretchen mol). i was already vaguely familiar with bettie's story (iconic early fetish model in a time where such things are labelled "morally corrupting" who eventually gives her life to god and stops modelling), so the movie didn't contain any huge revelations. i was much more intrigued by harron's directing, which encorporated footage from the era and differentiated the confining new york city (where the bondage pictures were taken) from the liberating miami beach (where bunny yeager's nudes were taken) by filming ny in black and white and miami beach in 50s-tinged color. still, the movie is an interesting character study and snapshot of an era, though not as much as harron's other films.
3 out of 5
hellboy animated: sword of storms
i wanted to like this because it's hellboy, but this animated movie has been kiddified and sterilized enough so that it wasn't really interesting on any of the levels that hellboy should be--visually striking, full of evil, talk of end-times, and loaded with worldly mythologies (as well as lovecraft's otherworldly mythologies). it looked and felt like any action-based cartoon show that can be seen most times of day on nickelodeon, cartoon network, and abc family. the only thing saving it was hellboy himself, and the little side quests he went on that actually did incorporate japanese legends (including the hellboy comic story "heads").
3 out of 5
nick frost's danger: 50,000 volts
this british tv series, hosted by shaun of the dead's ed (otherwise known as nick frost), is a comedic look at a whole variety of survival scenarios, from navigating a mine-field to what to do if you fall through the ice. frost is charming and the little vignettes are entertaining. the re-caps at the end of each of them aren't really needed and slow the pace of the show down a bit, but it's a minor complaint.
4 out of 5
p.s. - is anybody else sick of the simpsons using musical montages as a way of avoiding any actual writing?