deathcabforuglie

ok...
***WARNING...CONFUSION AHEAD***

so we agreed to get together for a talk...over lunch somewhere....but the previous night we met up with friends at a bar and even though tons of people were around we managed to get some stuff out...
-she still likes me
-she's too busy with school for a relationship
-she thinks we kinda rushed into things and it was too fast since her last boyfriend...
but this comes from a girl who said a.) "i like a lot of attention from my boyfriend..if i don't see him for a day i wonder what he's doing" (probably because she only dated assholes before me) ..and b.) "i always have a boyfriend"...
so i'm just sitting here confused as hell...
at lunch today we didn't talk about anything...well i did ask her what she would say when people at work asked how we were doing....she said she didn't know...i told her that i would tell them that we were having an intermission...that the second act was yet to come..she laughed and said ok....
girls are confusing....she swore up and down that it had nothing to do with me...but it always does...doesn't it?...if things are perfect with me...then why the breakup?...if i'm exactly what she wants..which i'm not saying i am....but if i was...there would be no reason for it....ok i understand she might not be able to "fit me in" because of her busy schedule...but i'm not asking for 24 hours of her day every day...i can be the boyfriend that she hangs out with when she's got time...that sounds super sad now that i type it out...but i would rather that...than to totally end things...
haha...this is a completely different attitude that the last entry....i knew the confidence wouldn't last....but i'm trying dammit...anyway...this is all stuff in my head....we haven't talked about this yet...maybe because i'm afraid of what she might say....but in the next couple of days...we'll find out i suppose...
xoxo,
j
ps- sorry i subjected people to reading this..it just helps to see things in black and white sometimes...