deanna

ok. im having a bit of an issue.

so my relationship history goes like this.

1st boyfriend who is now gay, i started dating when i was 15 or 16 and in a bowling league, yes you heard it right. HAHAHAH so anyways it was more of a puppy love thing i guess...i said i loved him but i really didnt know what it meant at that time...we dated for like 3 years off and on...and he introduced me to nine inch nails, lots of high school like making out to that stuff. so i lost my virginity to him at 18.

then i started college....i had a crush on this guy, and we got together in a totally highschool way...it was so sweet at first...our friends did the talking for us, we gave eachother notes and it was so innocent and pure. our first date was taking photos at a burnt down house and graveyard...this was craig. i was engaged to craig. was with him for 3 years and he cheated on me with one of my good friends. i loved him. it was what i considered my first "real" love.

anyways the point of this whole entry is that i found out today that he is having a baby. and for some reason this really bothered me...im not sure why it does. its not that i wish it was me....i just felt weird about it...