Just as usual the Sisters Fate have more than had their way with me. In normal fashion, life has been steadily been getting better since I left New Orleans. And in fact the last couple of weeks have been better than ever. But all that came crashing to a halt before I knew it.
I am not sure what happened. I didnt see it coming. But now everything is fucked. Ghosts from my past are haunting my thoughts. My dreams are filled with streets of blood and memories of people I cound not save. Ive com to see most of the happiness I have felt was more so me fooling myself into believing I was happy. I fear to my core of losing the one and only true thing that makes me happy in life. And things growing in me have caused concern and bring up fears of doctors using phrases like "inoperable" and "Bottom line have as much fun as you can now" And all of this coming down on my all at once makes me just want to run away...
So where does this leave me? Same place I have always been.... Hoplessly lost in the Dead of Winter...
I am not sure what happened. I didnt see it coming. But now everything is fucked. Ghosts from my past are haunting my thoughts. My dreams are filled with streets of blood and memories of people I cound not save. Ive com to see most of the happiness I have felt was more so me fooling myself into believing I was happy. I fear to my core of losing the one and only true thing that makes me happy in life. And things growing in me have caused concern and bring up fears of doctors using phrases like "inoperable" and "Bottom line have as much fun as you can now" And all of this coming down on my all at once makes me just want to run away...
So where does this leave me? Same place I have always been.... Hoplessly lost in the Dead of Winter...
*hug*