deadofwinter

I see Orin in the sky at night,
and wish I could posesss his strength.
My heart torn between a path I desire
and the path that is ultimately right.

The brilliance I am told that burns within me
I am unfortunatley unable to see,
when with everyday spent in the lifes
of those I love I only bring growing misery.

To protect those I...
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So today I went to the doctor. They shot me full of dye and ran some tests. And ofcourse the doctor couldnt give me a straight answer at first just as I suspected. He wanted me to talk with a counselor first and read some pamphlets etc... He berated me for letting this go for so long. Eventually he could see that I was getting...
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Well it seems that my health care has kicked in yesterday and now it looks as if I will finally get the operation I have needed for almost 2 years now. I guess its better late then never. Although with my problem thats one of those "Knock on wood" statements because time usually only makes this worse.
But only some tests will reveal that. Then...
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FINAL POST
I didnt think it was possible for my heart to break worse then it did when I divorced my exwife. Apparently I was worng. And this time the loss is greater than I ever inagined possible.

I call this one:
THANKS FOR THE BAGGAGE

You've poisened my head beyond repair
You played your last scene well.
So go ahead, and take a bow
and let your pride swell.

So kind and so sweet
you pulled me in.
You swallowed my heart whole.
But as your lies fell away
I saw you had no soul.

You raped our vows
betrayed my trust...
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I know this one little truth with a great deal of certainty:
There is something that is stronger than Death,
Lasting longer than Eternity.
I live in its Loneliness everyday.
Never sharing in lifes great slendor.
Let me go, set me free or be damned with me.
For I am the Dead of Winter..

Contener toda la felicidad que me he sentido siempre para en el extremo es siempre falso.
Contener mi intuicin para siempre correcto.
Contener poder ver en la gente. Causa solamente la decepcin.
Contener mi cdigo moral. Me ha hecho solamente ser aprovechado.
Contener los doormats para eso es cules soy. La falta de la presa para ella es toda lo que s.
Contener mi exwife...
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Just as usual the Sisters Fate have more than had their way with me. In normal fashion, life has been steadily been getting better since I left New Orleans. And in fact the last couple of weeks have been better than ever. But all that came crashing to a halt before I knew it.
I am not sure what happened. I didnt see it coming....
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Ok so I havent really posted anything worth its salt in a while. But I am off tomorrow and will do as much updating as I can....

Well death as a result or not, I would rather die trying to do my suicidal hike of the Appalachian Trail then to have that dream die. So I will take this year to see what the doctors can do for me and the next April or May I will set out as I had planned to do this May. More will follow as to...
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If I only had something to update I would... But until Vesper asks for my hand in mariage, life is just too boring...

Not much to report right now. I have been spending lots of time traveling on the new motorcycle trying to find where I want to go back to school at.
Recently I visited San Angelo... It has been a year and a half since I left there and when I got into town and went to the Scrub Pub, it was like I had never...
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