Anyone want to give me lots of money?

I was supposed to get my old job back, but my boss seems to have disappeared and I can't find work for the life of me. Applied at a bunch of places, only got 2 interviews, and was turned down both times. I'm poor goddamnit, somebody hire me.

For now I'm just doing yardwork and chores for drinking money, which probably isn't the best way to spend what little I have since I got a DUI earlier this month. Oops. My lawyer referred me to an alcohol evaluation/counseling program to look good for the courts, but they labeled me as a "presumptive problem drinker." So now on top of whatever the court decides to throw at me I have to go to 20 hours of treatment, which is going to cost around $750. With no job that's going to suck to pay for.

I should have stayed in Carbonhell. I had a job offer and everything...