John & I sat on the floor of his tiny bathroom sharing joints, tipping ash in to the toilet bowl. I dont remember how we got on to the subject but John started talking about how his only real ambition in life was to have a wife and kids and for them to be happy and so in so many years time, when his life is at an end he knows there is some one there who will miss and remember him and for that person to be a piece of him.
We rarely get in to conversations about ourselves, despite our long friendship and how fascinating I find these insights. This one in particular just touched me.
The conversation proceeded in to how he thought marriages inevitably end in divorce because someone will cheat and though he believes in love & 'the one' this is the reality of this day and age. Here I stated my opinion that marriage is nothing but a business deal, all about collecting assets and dividing assets and stuff. He said that this was very bleak and questioned me about how if I wasn't aiming for kids and a family at the end of the day, what did I want? what did I aspire to, what was the point if you don't carry on the chain?
My mind went blank at this point, it's been a really long time since I had a conversation of this nature. I knew all I'd ever wanted out of life was to have heaps of good stories to tell at the end but my inferiority complex stopped me saying this to John, added to the fact that he would say that surely I would want kids to listen to the stories.
The full description of what I want from life is as follows - I aspire to become some crazy old lady who lives alone in a little shack on a beach somewhere, and once the local kids stop thinking Im a witch they will come down after school to ask my wisdom about the surf and listen to a crazy story or two. Thats it, apart from I want most of the stories to be true and for that to be the case I have to do as many different things with my life as possible. Maybe this is why I want a career as a film maker at some point. To leave a legacy as a story teller.
'we are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.' - willy wonka
We rarely get in to conversations about ourselves, despite our long friendship and how fascinating I find these insights. This one in particular just touched me.
The conversation proceeded in to how he thought marriages inevitably end in divorce because someone will cheat and though he believes in love & 'the one' this is the reality of this day and age. Here I stated my opinion that marriage is nothing but a business deal, all about collecting assets and dividing assets and stuff. He said that this was very bleak and questioned me about how if I wasn't aiming for kids and a family at the end of the day, what did I want? what did I aspire to, what was the point if you don't carry on the chain?
My mind went blank at this point, it's been a really long time since I had a conversation of this nature. I knew all I'd ever wanted out of life was to have heaps of good stories to tell at the end but my inferiority complex stopped me saying this to John, added to the fact that he would say that surely I would want kids to listen to the stories.
The full description of what I want from life is as follows - I aspire to become some crazy old lady who lives alone in a little shack on a beach somewhere, and once the local kids stop thinking Im a witch they will come down after school to ask my wisdom about the surf and listen to a crazy story or two. Thats it, apart from I want most of the stories to be true and for that to be the case I have to do as many different things with my life as possible. Maybe this is why I want a career as a film maker at some point. To leave a legacy as a story teller.
'we are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.' - willy wonka
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
misterjesus:
I have conversations like that with myself.
pr0ject605:
Damn you're cute... I mean... *Ahem* hi