deadflower

Update:
i am a walking mutilation...
this will be a short transmission...
... lost a friend of mine to suicide...
i can't even keep up with my thoughts so im just going to download everything... he was such a free soul that would even help out the homeless by taking them to get food after the bar... he wanted to experience everything... i remember one...
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Update: new photos loaded... more to come




~end

sick of it all...
strike me in the skull...
bleeding before you...
maybe something new...
ha... what a lie...
this part of me will never die...
living within...
this life of sin...
it is all true...
i will never be apart of you...
i am a masochist...
kiss me with your fist...
lipstick scars...
are wishes upon your stars...
my mind is always tick..tick..ticking...
like...
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i had a dream last night...
you were in a crowd looking at me...
waiting for your time to be free...
we went for a walk...
and we talked... ( like before)
through lake view cemetery...
i awoke in distress...
completely undressed...
unsure of my reality...
someday i would like see...
just you and me...
having this talk over tea...

another year closer to death...
the only thing i got to show for it is a hangover...
will working on it...
stitched up tight shining camera light... in my face stuck in this place... bodies all around the screaming sound... in my head the only silence when i'm dead... things can't go right so i don't fight... wish i had more to say but who...
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its been a long time...
solitary life before me...
thoughts still clouded... images and words on paper thrown in the trash... just can't get it right...
bed ridden for the past two days... may have to go on meds...
don't like that thought having to be sedated to "live" life.......

my southern dreams have been washed away... a place i've always wanted go but it will never be the same... my heart and head are too heavy right now....

no water for me...thank you, its to late... my color has run dry... do or dye, i've made my choice... this silence is my voice... of reason... plant me in your bed... i won't grow 'til next season... southern bound, i hold back...that sound of something spoken... i am forever broken...........


new pics if things go right this weekend....

tighten the ropes of those with hopes till they bleed with the virginal seed of decay. . . still i sit...no love...no shame...no name.... and all the fame.........the world is a cold place to live alone....

been away and back again...lovely night in the garden of eden with a glass of wine and the symphony of crickets. went for a bike ride in my sundays be(a)st... but the cemetery was closed and to bright out to sneak in.... maybe i'll add in a little more soon....

saw devil's rejects this weekend.... i dont care what other people say, i liked it. still trying to decide on where to go for my b_day.


"with this hole in my chest you can see through me, but still not see whats inside me."

shh....its a surprise


i am planning a surprise birthday trip for myself on the weekend of the 28 of oct..... where to go, where to go, i don't know..... east coast, west coast.... who can boast the most?


*(feel free to send your friends to help me decide...)
*(and any info on where else i can post this, too....)