deadfishies

I am deleting my site for now, because my ex bought me a months membership, and he doesn't wish to pay anymore. So it will be deleted by the 22nd, and then I will be no more. So, goodbye to all my friends, and goodbye to sweet sweet nudie pictures of beautiful women, and I hope to become a SG someday, so perhaps I will...
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I'm filling out invites, and listening to music. Thinking about better days. I wish there were people to hang out with, and have fun with, but in a small town like this, the only thing to do is complain about nothing to do....all the kids hang out at the local convenience store, and I sit here, on my computer, doing nothing, hoping for someone to...
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Last night was wicked...I drank, conversed with cool, crazy people, and indulged in some sexual activity. It was fun, amazing, wicked, wild, crazy...and it kind of hurt...in a good way. My fantasies became reality, and reality hit me hard. I'm not sure how to feel at this moment...but I hope one day it happens again.

Going out with a girlfriend, whipping her boys into shape, hopefully eating something, and having a pretty chill time. Woot!

Better day, kind of bored...will life ever get more exciting?

Changing my address today, doing some chores, running some errands...forgetting.
Letting the pain take its course, and allowing myself to feel.
Have you ever felt so numb, and so completely out of it, you had no idea who you were, or what you were doing? Have you ever felt so much pain, you couldn't eat, and couldn't sleep? Have you ever had to put something...
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Enjoying the sun and hanging out with my awesome sister!

Oh, and playing with my new camera...thanks to my family!

Peace!

Ex is acting like a total dick to me!
Everything seems to be going wrong. He said he was leaving my stuff in trash bags on the lawn. Won't let me in the apartment, and keeps blaming me for stupid shit. He slept with another girl already, and felt the need to tell me he fucked her three times. I see the abusive behaviors, I...
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Numbing, packing, numbing...
My ex is going out on a date today...not sure how I feel about that.
My life seems to have taken side roads...
Have yet to fill out the forms to be an SG model.
Hopefully, I can get the ball rolling soon...
if I'm not too depressed.
Maybe there is something to look forward to....I'm just not sure what it is...
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Today is the first official day of my single life. I am on my way to self improvement, and doing a little soul searching. I am in a time of self discovery, and today is the day I begin to focus on my priorities. I need to find out who I am and what I want out of life, and what I want in my...
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Well...
It's official. I'm single. My boyfriend and I broke up, knowing that it was never fixable. I suppose it was for the best, but my heart is breaking. Its been so long since I've been single...and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I feel empty...and so alone. Will I ever see better days?

Girls, girls, girls...
So many women, so many fish in the sea,
but how to catch one?

I'm on the prowl, searching for the right woman. Maybe the right woman will help me find myself.
I talk to them, but how can I know if any of them are interested.
I'm not just interested in sex...
I want more.
Doesn't everyone want more?
I just...
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