deaddarkstar

this may be the last time i talk to you

i cannot believe that i was so stupid to even consider the fact that you were, in fact, different. that you had a soul. that anything you ever said to me was honest or actually heartfelt. i do not regret the time i spent with you and i don't blame you for anything. i just feel ashamed. this IS my lowpoint. i put myself out there, trusting you (you won't believe that, but i honestly did), sleeping with you, even wanting to go somewhere just to be with you. i am ashamed of myself, i should have known better. as low as i have ever been, i had never thrown so much away for nothing, let myself get drug around by my heart, and i had never gotten in any of my friends faces (who was only trying to help me) to stand up for a girl that does nothing but hurt me repeatedly. i knew you would do it again, deep down, and i tried to tell myself that this time would be different, over and over until i actually convinced myself that i was supposed to be with you.it all stems from something i have never done before.....

i listened to you and not my head. now i know why i never did it before. i am so stupid

thank you for another lovely bruise, and another reason not to love, or trust. i am sorry, its is all i had to give you, i just wished it was enough.

i will always love you....you have my heart forever, and you can keep it
i dont want it, it loves you

goodbye my angel, i always knew you would kill me.