Starting a new job tomorrow. Pretend I'm 'normal'; I'll settle for 'human'. It's so bizarre, all my life I've fought against conformity, sometimes to the point of physical violence and injury growing up (I grew up in Maine, trust me; conforming was a bad idea) and now I find that I cannot seem to keep myself afloat out in the "real world". I know that the 9-5 timeclock life is not for me; I write, that's what I like to do. That's what is "for me". But how many of us are forced to paint a lacquer mask of blandness to not frighten the sheepeople? It's so frustrating and I'm afraid that I'm going to fuck this up. Again. Because I am not like them. And as my father said, "They will hate you because you are different from them". Gods I wish it was otherwise.