So, Sharona 1881 tagged me a little while back. Now, I guess I have to say 20 things about myself. They won't be as interesting as Manko's, but I try to be smartass and funny, while remaining completely honest, so maybe you'll get some comedy. I did a list of 100 Things About Me before, and I'm going to try not to duplicate them. Here goes.
1. My favorite nudie magazine layout of all time was a girl named Naomi in the February 1992 issue of Gallery. I haven't had that magazine in years, bu I still remember it intimately. You'll note I was 14. I loved her, and her sandy coochie.
2. The person that turned me into a smoker was named Johnny Walker. Dy-no-mite. He said it would enhance my drinking buzz. Now it enhances my waking up.
3. I am really very snobby about my pizzas. I'll eat any other crap put in front of me, usually delighting in detestable and questionable cuisine, but when it comes to pizza, I am damned picky. Comes from working in pizza for a couple years.
4. I am addicted to Indie 103.1 for my listening pleasure. I discovered it because of SG Radio, but have quickly discovered it is the best radio station ever.
5. My favorite superhero team is the Doom Patrol. It has to be the silver age issues, or the Morrison run, though. Everything else is a tragic imitation of what that team is supposed to represent.
6. For Halloween 1998, I dressed as Jesus Christ, PornoStar. I injured myself doing a striptease that night.
7. I think the most hateful thing in the world is the sound of an alarm clock going off. Second: the universal fact that waitresses will refill my iced tea, but none ever, EVER have another lemon slice for it. What the fuck is that? No one has ever thought I might like my tea to taste the same way, or do they think lemon juice sinks to the bottom of any container?
8. I have a pretty impressive Invader Zim display here in my apartment, and yes, I am comfortable with that.
9. I've been in love before, but I fucked it up almost beyond all recognition. I think everyone could have this on their list, though, so I'll throw in a bonus tidbit: my favorite Kool-Aid floavor of all time is Purplesaurus Rex.
10. I almost always have a lighter and a Sharpie in my posession. Lighter for any girl that might happen to ask, Sharpie in case I need to deface something/someone.
11. I know all the words to Rhinestone Cowboy, and will sing it at any time. I don't know why.
12. I am fucking excellent at board games, and if you ever happen to beat me, you have made a lifelong enemy.
13. My pajama pants are almost as embarassingly tacky as my print shirts.
14. I was scared to death of roller coasters until I was about 13. Then, I became a thrill junkie and will ride any crazy ass thing they come up with. The nightmare I still have frequently, though, is being on a rollercoaster car that goes off track and just hovers in the air for a second before streaking towards the ground helplessly. That's a cold sweat dream there.
15. As a kid, I wanted to be either Michael J. Fox or Howard the Duck so I could have sex with Lea Thompson.
16. I am shit with money, unless I am spending the boss's on acquiring a comic collection. Then, I am a financial wizard.
17. As I understand it, most people snap their fingers using the middle finger. I have always used the one next to my pinkie finger (is that the ring finger?). Is that interesting? Not particularly, but I sure as hell am not going to tell you about the time I ended up in a crack deal in an unfamiliar city with people I didn't know because some guy confused me for a girl named Mandy. And no, I don't and never have smoked crack, which makes that story all the more interesting. Too bad I'm not going to go into it.
18. You want me on your team for team Trivial Pursuit.
19. I think rhubarb is the best pie ever. My second favorite is every other pie ever that is not called Spaghetti Pie. Long story to that one, but it involves leaving a very gross trail of noodles.
20. I love it when girls try to beat me up. It's a weird thing. It makes me laugh, which makes them hit harder, which makes me laugh harder. It could genuinely hurt, but I can't stop laughing. There has to be some kind of symbolism for my love life there.
1. My favorite nudie magazine layout of all time was a girl named Naomi in the February 1992 issue of Gallery. I haven't had that magazine in years, bu I still remember it intimately. You'll note I was 14. I loved her, and her sandy coochie.
2. The person that turned me into a smoker was named Johnny Walker. Dy-no-mite. He said it would enhance my drinking buzz. Now it enhances my waking up.
3. I am really very snobby about my pizzas. I'll eat any other crap put in front of me, usually delighting in detestable and questionable cuisine, but when it comes to pizza, I am damned picky. Comes from working in pizza for a couple years.
4. I am addicted to Indie 103.1 for my listening pleasure. I discovered it because of SG Radio, but have quickly discovered it is the best radio station ever.
5. My favorite superhero team is the Doom Patrol. It has to be the silver age issues, or the Morrison run, though. Everything else is a tragic imitation of what that team is supposed to represent.
6. For Halloween 1998, I dressed as Jesus Christ, PornoStar. I injured myself doing a striptease that night.
7. I think the most hateful thing in the world is the sound of an alarm clock going off. Second: the universal fact that waitresses will refill my iced tea, but none ever, EVER have another lemon slice for it. What the fuck is that? No one has ever thought I might like my tea to taste the same way, or do they think lemon juice sinks to the bottom of any container?
8. I have a pretty impressive Invader Zim display here in my apartment, and yes, I am comfortable with that.
9. I've been in love before, but I fucked it up almost beyond all recognition. I think everyone could have this on their list, though, so I'll throw in a bonus tidbit: my favorite Kool-Aid floavor of all time is Purplesaurus Rex.
10. I almost always have a lighter and a Sharpie in my posession. Lighter for any girl that might happen to ask, Sharpie in case I need to deface something/someone.
11. I know all the words to Rhinestone Cowboy, and will sing it at any time. I don't know why.
12. I am fucking excellent at board games, and if you ever happen to beat me, you have made a lifelong enemy.
13. My pajama pants are almost as embarassingly tacky as my print shirts.
14. I was scared to death of roller coasters until I was about 13. Then, I became a thrill junkie and will ride any crazy ass thing they come up with. The nightmare I still have frequently, though, is being on a rollercoaster car that goes off track and just hovers in the air for a second before streaking towards the ground helplessly. That's a cold sweat dream there.
15. As a kid, I wanted to be either Michael J. Fox or Howard the Duck so I could have sex with Lea Thompson.
16. I am shit with money, unless I am spending the boss's on acquiring a comic collection. Then, I am a financial wizard.
17. As I understand it, most people snap their fingers using the middle finger. I have always used the one next to my pinkie finger (is that the ring finger?). Is that interesting? Not particularly, but I sure as hell am not going to tell you about the time I ended up in a crack deal in an unfamiliar city with people I didn't know because some guy confused me for a girl named Mandy. And no, I don't and never have smoked crack, which makes that story all the more interesting. Too bad I'm not going to go into it.
18. You want me on your team for team Trivial Pursuit.
19. I think rhubarb is the best pie ever. My second favorite is every other pie ever that is not called Spaghetti Pie. Long story to that one, but it involves leaving a very gross trail of noodles.
20. I love it when girls try to beat me up. It's a weird thing. It makes me laugh, which makes them hit harder, which makes me laugh harder. It could genuinely hurt, but I can't stop laughing. There has to be some kind of symbolism for my love life there.
You, sir, are awesome.