Well damn. It's my belief that suffering is just the start toa better part of life coming your way. You have my prayers and Ihope you find happiness. Hopefully your familycan help. Good luck!c

Without knowing you or your situation I could not make definate presumption as to your state, so instead Ill offer a glimpse at my situation just past and perhaps it may help. I lived my life one day at a time, changing with the situations, adapting to circumstance and essentialy moving forward with my eyes closed... this left me feeling as if four walls boxed me in and even though I was moving forward and things were happening, I just could not see the future, I saw possible results but no actual future. Trapped is a good and simple way of describing my feelings because I didnt know what was beyond the walls, didnt know how much freedom to choose my path I had. For me I found freedom in some new friends who pushed my boundries and a new job that let me define a career path I will follow, these goals and new experiences opened my box and allowed me to find a true form of self confidence and personal drive ending my encapsulation. Best of luck in moving beyond this.