davey

This may count and may not. Here goes:
My friend Greg and I were at a wedding. The couple were two people we used to be friends with, but they became too focused on each other and ignored us. Back when we were friends, Greg hooked up with this girl [on my bed, that piece of shit]. Also, she used to be svelte but got very, very big between the engagement and the wedding. Unbeknownst to Greg, the bride, groom, and the bride's parents were standing directly behind him when he let out with a real winner of a comment, "God, [the bride] got so fucking huge she doesn't even look like the girl I hooked up with!"

I kept trying to think of a story, but I don't think I can top bcguitar33's.