Here's the truth: I've been spending a horrible amount of time in my dorm room alone, or wandering aimlessly around campus... alone. And in real life, I've become too shy and awkward to make actual friends, and hardly anyone ever visits me. My best friend visits me sometimes, because she's my best friend and she loves me, and we will never be apart for as long as we live. My new roommate is alright, I suppose, but we don't really talk all that much, and when I offer her food, she politely declines. I am an okay cook, and if more people would visit, they would see my microwave skills in action. I don't have a kitchen. Somehow, I still manage to spend all my money on groceries. I call my mom more often than I think is necessary, and she likes to tell me things like, "I'm fine, and Blondie just took a poop." I wish there were other real people for me to call. It's a bit depressing. I'm very lonely here. And also, I don't get what's going on in my differential equations class, or even my intro to C class, and that makes me feel pretty dumb. This guy I knew in high school is in my intro to C class, but he somehow became an asshole. Until last spring, we'd spent the past four and a half years in the same math class. I mean, in a math class with each other, not in the SAME math class for four and a half years like dumbasses. I know that if I tried, this wouldn't have to be one gigantic, rambling paragraph, but I prefer it this way, I think. In my intro to education class, there's this one guy, the guy you just KNOW is going to be one of those asshole science teachers. Sometimes I almost can't believe how many asshole science teachers there are. I hate those guys. Tonight I'm going to make a shitload of yummy veggie sushi with my best friend, and we'll probably dance around her coffee table. Last night, I arrived on campus at approximately 10:25 pm, but ended up circling the parking lot in front of my dorm for nearly half an hour before just giving up and parking in the garage. It's a bit of a walk. And I bought a soda last night from the laundry room. It made me remember why I don't drink soda. It's terrible. Silly me, I won't drink soda, but I'll numb my brain with too much alcohol. Ehh. Oh and last night, my boyfriend's mom cooked me veggies, accompanied by a salad, and she asked me if everything was okay for me to eat before she added it. Even though she doesn't quite get life without meat, I thought it was a very nice gesture.
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IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY SMARTER, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS OR INTRO TO C ARE, AND I'M ONE OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE I KNOW.
YOU'VE PROBABLY GOT TO BE REALLY SMART JUST TO GET INTO THOSE CLASSES.
PS- IF YOU WANTED TO TALK TO SOMEONE YOU PROBABLY WOULD, BUT YOU DON'T GET MUCH IN THIS LIFE WITHOUT ASKING.
ANYWAY I'M PLANNING A TRIP TO FLORIDA IN THE WINTER. MY DAUGHTER LIVES IN TAMPA. MAYBE WE CAN HANG OUT, I COULD USE A FRIEND DOWN THERE. I DON'T REALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MY EX THIS TIME. IT NEVER GOES VERY WELL.
[Edited on Sep 02, 2004 4:49PM]