Sorry folks ... haven't been much for interacting on SG. If you are keepiong score at home ...
Props to Anna for getting me through last night. My entry from yesterday came after I was able to pull myself together enough. In a moment of manicness last night I was able to get to the movie theater to watch 'Millions'. Afterwards I talked to Anna on the telephone and started feeling a half bit balanced. The downside to seeing old friends again and having a good time is that I don't get to do it often and when I do it's a huge letdown for me when it is over. It usually hits me the night before I am set to leave. That left me with a good 12hrs or so to enjoy myself in Missouri over the weekend.
I really miss being able to rely on someone being around 24/7/365. That's where my former girlfriends would shine. I knew that they would be available whenever I might need them. It's not that I am needy all the damn time but in my times of need, I do a lot better with someone else around. Sucks not having someone close to that in Blacksburg to hang out in person. I have to rely that someone is sitting on AIM, near their telephone or not asleep. :-/ A cat really can't serve this position in my life. I'm taking applications at the moment, though. (Cheesiest relationship analogy ever!). -dave
In yesterday's journal entry I mentioned how I miss having someone around 24/7 in my life. I referenced this to a girlfriend who would be around all the time. One thing this is related to is a desire to fill an intimate void inside me. People talk about 'relationship hopping' where they end one relationship and jump on to the next one because they need to have that void filled. In many respects I am like this although it doesn't have to be in the form of a romantic relationship. In the past year I have learned how to be my own person. While I still rely on people when I am in bad shape, I take care of myself 95% of the time. I don't need anyone to cook or clean or wash for me. One day I hope to be at a point where I do not need the emotional support as much from my friends & family. There is nothing wrong with emotional support, it is perfectly healthy, but it can also be a crutch which keeps one from fully coming to grips with oneself. I knew that living on my own would be difficult and I hoped that I would learn insight which would help me survive. I've taken a lot of social steps backwards in the past 7mo but I have grown in other areas. I like to put some positive light on my actions even though I don't have a lot of physical evidence to show that I am better now than I was in November. I do, however, still find that I am waiting for something good to happen to me instead of going out and doing so. It's that 'What does my horoscope think will happen today' mentality that keeps me home at night instead of out and about in town. If I really had any idea how to interact with other people I would not be in this mess but alas. I just have to go on each day hoping to gain some insight which will make me a better person. -dave
Props to Anna for getting me through last night. My entry from yesterday came after I was able to pull myself together enough. In a moment of manicness last night I was able to get to the movie theater to watch 'Millions'. Afterwards I talked to Anna on the telephone and started feeling a half bit balanced. The downside to seeing old friends again and having a good time is that I don't get to do it often and when I do it's a huge letdown for me when it is over. It usually hits me the night before I am set to leave. That left me with a good 12hrs or so to enjoy myself in Missouri over the weekend.
I really miss being able to rely on someone being around 24/7/365. That's where my former girlfriends would shine. I knew that they would be available whenever I might need them. It's not that I am needy all the damn time but in my times of need, I do a lot better with someone else around. Sucks not having someone close to that in Blacksburg to hang out in person. I have to rely that someone is sitting on AIM, near their telephone or not asleep. :-/ A cat really can't serve this position in my life. I'm taking applications at the moment, though. (Cheesiest relationship analogy ever!). -dave
In yesterday's journal entry I mentioned how I miss having someone around 24/7 in my life. I referenced this to a girlfriend who would be around all the time. One thing this is related to is a desire to fill an intimate void inside me. People talk about 'relationship hopping' where they end one relationship and jump on to the next one because they need to have that void filled. In many respects I am like this although it doesn't have to be in the form of a romantic relationship. In the past year I have learned how to be my own person. While I still rely on people when I am in bad shape, I take care of myself 95% of the time. I don't need anyone to cook or clean or wash for me. One day I hope to be at a point where I do not need the emotional support as much from my friends & family. There is nothing wrong with emotional support, it is perfectly healthy, but it can also be a crutch which keeps one from fully coming to grips with oneself. I knew that living on my own would be difficult and I hoped that I would learn insight which would help me survive. I've taken a lot of social steps backwards in the past 7mo but I have grown in other areas. I like to put some positive light on my actions even though I don't have a lot of physical evidence to show that I am better now than I was in November. I do, however, still find that I am waiting for something good to happen to me instead of going out and doing so. It's that 'What does my horoscope think will happen today' mentality that keeps me home at night instead of out and about in town. If I really had any idea how to interact with other people I would not be in this mess but alas. I just have to go on each day hoping to gain some insight which will make me a better person. -dave